Liz shows Francie how messy eating is done

OMG, I am having the best time working @ Redd Hott Bajan Mamma's in Barbardos w/Duncan an' his fam and Jeremy, Eva, Zandra, and her lil bro Charles Wallace. So, so cube!

So Liz sent me another e-mail:

April, as you know, we Pattersons always change the subject on Sundays, but I get to tell the "Sunday" story this time. Because it's still MY turn! MINE! I can't tell you anything else about when Warren dropped by my apartment and answered Anthony's phone call yet, so instead, I'll tell you about this one time recently when I was watching Frenchy. Anthony had a big, important Astronomy Club Executive Committee meeting, so he asked me to come over and care for the kid. And Mom says I should always be ready to show Anthony what a great stepmom I'll be someday, when he finally asks me to marry him.

Anyway, the first thing I did after Anthony left the house was to put Frenchy into her booster seat at the kitchen table. You might be confused because she didn't need a booster seat at the Christmas dinner, but you shouldn't be, because you should be used to Milborough child development and dis-development. So I thought about what I could get her that would be nice and easy to make, and I was happy to see that Anthony had bread, peanut butter, and jelly. I made a PB & J sandwich for Frenchy brought it over to her. Then, as I was putting the ingredients away, I looked over my shoulder and saw that she had pulled the sandwich apart and was licking the PB & J off of the bread. I said, "Francie, you're old enough to know how to eat properly!" And while she was tearing one of her messy pieces of bread in half, she said, "But... I don't wanna eat properly... I wanna eat like this." I noticed that somehow, magically, Frenchy's face was completely clean again. Then, to make a point, I quickly made a PB & J sandwich of my own and tore the pieces apart as I asked, "You mean, like this?"

Then I started to lick PB & J off of the inside of one side of bread while making these sounds: "MUNCH, GLUPP, SLURBP, MFF, EAT, SLURP, GLUPPP... SLORBP, GLMPH, SLUPP, EAT..." While I did this, clean-faced Frenchy laughed like she'd never seen anything so funny. I had a bad feeling that my "teaching moment" wasn't having the effect I meant it to. Especially since I could kind of see Frenchy's point that PB & J is extra delicious if eaten that way. But I couldn't tell her that, so instead I got up and said, "Well, that's that! Guess I'd better clean up!" And Frenchy said, "No, 'Lizabeth!!" And she suddenly had PB & J on her face again. I asked, "Why not?" And then her face went clean just as she said, "I don't want you to grow up so fast!!!" I got a gobsmacked look on my face, because what 3-year-old talks like that? Though I should be used to that from Frenchy. Oh, that reminds me, did you know she turned 3 this past Friday, March 7? Anthony said we weren't going to celebrate because he wants to make sure he doesn't spoil her. Mom heard about this and said, "I knew there was a reason I've always liked Anthony!"

Liz

Oh, ew. What a vommy story. I think I need 2 go B sick now.

Apes