Mom can't accept kindness graciously
Hey, we're off me. Yay! We're on Mom and Dad. Boo!
Dad sez he was leaving work recently (yeah, it seems he still works), and sed, "Goodnite, Jean!" Jean, his assistant, was all, "Goodnite, Dr. P. Have a good evening!" And Dad was all, "Will do." He sez that while driving home, he was singing, "It's a new dawnnnn a new daaayyy 4 meeee." He sez he was in such a good mood, he decided 2 stop @ the flower shop and buy Mom sum potted flowers. As he was paying 4 them, he went, "SNIFFFF..... AAAHHH" and then thot, "...There's nothing like flowers when U wish 22 conver a special message 2 sum1!" Dad sez his special message was supposta B "I luv U so much I bought U flowers 4 no reason." But when he handed the flowers 2 Mom, she took them and then asked, "...What did U do?"
C, Mom can't accept kindness graciously.
Apes
Dad sez he was leaving work recently (yeah, it seems he still works), and sed, "Goodnite, Jean!" Jean, his assistant, was all, "Goodnite, Dr. P. Have a good evening!" And Dad was all, "Will do." He sez that while driving home, he was singing, "It's a new dawnnnn a new daaayyy 4 meeee." He sez he was in such a good mood, he decided 2 stop @ the flower shop and buy Mom sum potted flowers. As he was paying 4 them, he went, "SNIFFFF..... AAAHHH" and then thot, "...There's nothing like flowers when U wish 22 conver a special message 2 sum1!" Dad sez his special message was supposta B "I luv U so much I bought U flowers 4 no reason." But when he handed the flowers 2 Mom, she took them and then asked, "...What did U do?"
C, Mom can't accept kindness graciously.
Apes
Labels: Dad, Mom, stoopidity
posted by April Patterson @ 6:23 AM
9 Comments:
At 9:00 AM,
duncan anderson said…
Hey Apes,
1 good thing abt Silhouette Dad is that he doesnt hang w/ Arne. I remembah my Ril Dad & Arne sitting on the verandah drinking beer last summer & Arne going on & on abt how he always gives flowers 2 his "broads" rite b4 he dumps them. Sumthing abt softening them up 1st so they wldnt hit him. Not that yr dad wld evah. evah dump yr mom.
L8r.
Yr best bud,
Duncan Anderson
p.s. Ill tell u my sekrit aft skool.
p.p.s. Yr dad isnt dumping yr mom, is he? That song he was singing was kinda weird. He was way 2 happy, like those d00ds in the Viagra commercials.
At 9:06 AM,
April Patterson said…
hey, dunc, i m totally in suspense abt the sekrit.
if my dad is planning 2 dump my mom, he hasn't clued me in!
apes
At 12:33 PM,
DreadedCandiru2 said…
Like I said, your mother is never happy unless she and everyone else around her is miserable.
At 4:02 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Formerly little sis. When you wrote about Dad giving Mom flowers, I thought it might be part of his effort to keep from having his middle name changed as mine has been. I have enjoyed going by Michael J. Patterson for awhile now. People would come up to me and say, “Hey, you’re name is Michael J.; just like the famous basketball player.” And I would respond, “Michael J. who?” After awhile I got used to it, and I could get a few laughs from my fellow employees with my response, even though I still don’t who this other Michael J. basketball player is. What can I say? I’m Canadian and all I know is hockey.
After Sunday, my real middle name of Thomas was revealed and even mom’s website changed it to Michael Thomas. I can’t do my Michael J. joke anymore. It’s the passing of an era. However, I think Dad is afraid that Mom will reminisce some time during 1979 or 1980, when she discovered that his middle name was different and he will have to change it. Flowers can go a long way towards keeping your middle name. If only I had thought to give mom flowers before Sunday, I might still be Michael J.
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 6:50 PM,
Zandra Larson said…
Hi April,
Arne doesn't know what he's talking about. He's never dated anyone long enough to dump them. However, his exes all got him single malt scotch before they dumped him.
Zandra
At 7:16 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, i hadda ok tyme in etobicoke w/500+ screamin’ kid chess players, thanx 2 agreein’ 2b a sponsor az a part of my 40 hours of community involvement activities requirement 4 grad. gerald seems like he wuz pretty bizzy while i wuz gone w/walkin’ ‘round skool w/his arm ‘round u & kissin’ u & stuff like that. i’m glad u told me gerald did the "SMOOCH" on u & u didn't "suggest" it, evn tho gerald sez u did. cuz all the peeps goin’ "SMOOCH" @me 2day woulda made me mad. @evn shannon lake came up 2 me & sed she saw it & she thought ‘bout comfortin’ u, but u didn’t look like u needed comfortin’.
‘course then wen i saw u w/the big buncha flowerz & u sed gerald gave them 2u, cuz ur dad suggested it 2 him; i felt bad. i went 2 etobicoke chess tourney & i didn’t get u nethin’. mebbe i coulda got u a chess clock or a scoring pad or sumthin’ (they don’t sell flowers @tourneys).
At 7:19 PM,
Anonymous said…
Duncan,
U can’t keep sekrits frum me.
Yr silhouette,
Duncan Anderson’s Silhouette
At 8:30 PM,
April Patterson said…
mike, i guess i can't really rel8 cuz i have such a well established middle name. mom made such a point of saying she wanted 2 name me "april marian patterson" when i was born. like when meredith (yr daughter) was born and dee made a big deal abt saying "meredith anne." and the same w/"robin michael." it's like ppl never got a chance 2 4get what my middle name is, like they did w/u. and probably liz.
jeremy, i returned the flowers fr. ger back 2 the store and bought u a giftie. i'll b rite over w/it!
zandra, i think arne mighta been over @ liz's school, trying 2 teach the kids abt "illusions" in assembly. @ least no1 was hurt in the fire and the damage was minimal.
apes
At 8:34 PM,
Anonymous said…
Minimal damage? My bun got singed and my favourite matching brown skirt and blouse from the Sensible Schoolmarm collection were ruined! And the principal is angry with me for suggesting Arne for our assembly.
Liz
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