April's Real Blog

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

When Eva is a Laff Track

I don't even wanna tell U my latest story, cuz it ends w/me making a way lame kinda "wordplay" and I M ashamed. But here goes.

We (Duncan, Eva, and I) were still on the bleachers. I had just been talking abt my plans 4 vet school. Dunc sed, "Ummm...I'm sort of interested in business stuff. I'm also in2 sports... An' travel an' communications." I was listening, but also noticing I had gone eyeless and my body proportions were way off again, like I was built like a 6yo or sumsuch. It was v. v. disturbing!

I sed, "U cd open a travel agency!" And Eva sed, "An' organize worldwide sporting events!" Of course neither Eva nor I knew the slightest abt what it takes to do either of those things, but whatevs. Dunc sed, "Who knows..."

Then he sort of half got up, kinda sticking his butt out like he needed 2 poo. And he sed, "I mean, doors open, rite? U get started in sumthing an' U meet people an' doors open. There's always an open door." Eva had half-stood up, and I was also starting 2 get up as I sed, "Yeah..." Then as Duncan started 2 walk down the bleachers, I told him, "...U just hafta remember 2 let go of the knob!" Yeah, I know, that was stupid and made no sense, but Eva laffed NEhow. Like a laff track.

Zandra, I didn't C yr comment from last nite until this morning. Dunc, OMG, R U OK?


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  • At 8:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You do, of course, realize that despite what the brochures in the guidance counsellor's office says, advising somebody to be a travel agent is like convincing him to sell buggy whips for a living. The magazines ain't the only thing that're out of date.

  • At 8:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Yeah, I know, that was stupid and made no sense, but Eva laffed NEhow. Like a laff track.

    Exactly like a laugh track. She heard something that didn't make sense so she thought it was a joke.

  • At 9:31 AM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    yeah, i dunno what came over me, 4 both things (my bad career advice and my bad not-joke). i've gotta get outta mboro!


  • At 9:47 AM, Anonymous Eva Abuya said…

    Ha ha ha ha ha! HA ha HAAAA ha HA! BWAH-ha-HA! Ha-HAAAAA-ha HAAAA!




  • At 12:16 PM, Anonymous Butt-head said…


    Heh-heh-heh. You said, “Knob.” That's why Eva is laughing. Heh-heh-heh.


  • At 12:16 PM, Anonymous Beavis said…


    But first she said “You just hafta remember to let go of the knob.” Heh-heh-heh.


  • At 12:17 PM, Anonymous Butt-head said…


    Whoa! Is she coming onto him? Lucky.


  • At 12:18 PM, Anonymous Beavis said…


    No. He had his hands in his pocket. She’s telling him to stop playing pocket-pool.


  • At 12:19 PM, Anonymous Butt-head said…


    Oh yeah, it's one of those things you should do by yourself.


  • At 12:20 PM, Anonymous Beavis said…


    You should know. Heh-heh-heh.

    What a wuss. He wants to be a travel agent.


  • At 12:21 PM, Anonymous Butt-head said…


    It sounds like he should go into painting.


  • At 12:21 PM, Anonymous Beavis said…


    Why painting?


  • At 12:22 PM, Anonymous Butt-head said…


    Because April is telling him he’s a master painter. Heh-heh-heh.


  • At 12:23 PM, Anonymous Beavis said…


    Heh-heh-heh. No, he should go into fishing instead.


  • At 12:24 PM, Anonymous Butt-head said…


    Why fishing? So he can be a master baiter? Heh-heh-heh.


  • At 12:25 PM, Anonymous Beavis said…


    No. Because he’s a pocket fisherman. Heh-heh-heh.

    So, like...why the hell is April hanging out with these wussies?


  • At 12:27 PM, Anonymous Butt-head said…


    Yeah, like, maybe she doesn't even like them, but she just like, insults them just to piss them off...because she's a bitch!


  • At 12:28 PM, Anonymous Beavis said…


    Yeah. Bitches are cool. April is cool.


  • At 12:29 PM, Anonymous Butt-head said…


    Bitches rule! Yay April!


  • At 2:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Young lady:
    You, no doubt, think that this is all very funny, but let me remind you that grasping at "knobs" is not something which you or anyone else should be doing before marriage. You laugh now, but will you be laughing so hysterically when the baby comes? Or when your sainted mother, who has sacrificed so much so that you can tell smutty jokes with your "friends," learns what you have been up to and has a heart attack?
    Would your beautiful older sister have attracted so many beaus if she were the sort of cheap, roadside "gig" who spoke openly of "knob" clutching? Would she have attracted the attentions of Anthony, the delightful young gentleman with whom she has plighted her troth?
    Please...think about your conduct lately. It is not too late!
    A Friend

  • At 2:50 PM, Anonymous Eva Abuya said…

    Ha ha ha. Heh heh heh. ::snrk::

    Beavis and Butthead are funny!

    Ha-ha ha-ha ha, ha HA!


  • At 2:52 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    wow, "a friend." u must have a dirty mind. i really was just talking abt door knobs. mayB i shd not take advice from sum1 w/such a dirty mind!!!


  • At 3:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    mayB i shd not take advice from sum1 w/such a dirty mind!!!

    Especially when that someone has such poor taste in clothes and doesn't know how much homework you're assigned because she's too busy praising her no-talent son's unreadable book while feeding her semi-retired dentist husband greaseburgers and complaining about all the time he spends on his model train layout to care.

  • At 4:32 PM, Blogger duncan anderson said…

    Hey Apes,

    Im more than sorta interested in business stuff. I had a ril career happening til Silhouette D00d stole my life. And yeah, Id like 2 travel 2 Barbados and communicate fist-2-face w/ Silhouette D00d. But sports? WTF? Im almost 17, not 7 yo.

    Im on the GO bus 2 TO. Im meeting up w/ Charles Wallace and Arne. If they cant help me, mayb I can @ least borrow sum $ from CW.


    Yr v. confused best bud,
    The Ril Duncan Anderson

    p.s. Crazee, if ur reading this, dont even think of opening my door.

  • At 4:38 PM, Anonymous charles wallace larson said…

    Dear April,

    Duncan is on his way over to my place. These may seem like strange questions, but have you and Duncan recently been promoted to Grade 12? Has Duncan suffered from any sports-related head injuries in gym lately?

    Your friend,
    Charles Wallace Larson

  • At 4:57 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    dunc, don't feel bad. @ least yr "sports" comment wasn't like, nonsensical and totally lame. like my "knob" comment.

    charles wallace, since we didn't have our p.e. uni's we didn't get 2 do gym the other day. i dunno if dunc did ne other "sports" activities on his own, tho.

    charles wallace, no1 has told us we've been promoted 2 grade 12, but sum peeps have been talking 2 us and abt us as if we r in our last yr of hi school. it has been v. v. weird.


  • At 4:58 PM, Anonymous Silhouette Duncan Anderson said…


    April probably remembers the TDSSAA hockey Championship games w/the R.P. Boire hockey team. U did really gr8 in those, or I should say I did, even tho we didn’t win the final w/Etobicoke. The nice thing ‘bout hockey is almost no light get into your hockey uni. It’s a gr8 sport 4 a silhouette.

    If u get the hockey scholarship, u should take it d00d. Perdita & Bambi both like me better (especially Bambi). They don’t want u back in Barbados. If u don’t get the scholarship, i know there’s at least 1 travel agency in Corbeil that still duz gr8 bizness, cuz of a computer-phobic millionairess who lives there. U cud get a job there.

    Yr silhouette,
    Silhouette Duncan Anderson

  • At 5:21 PM, Blogger duncan anderson said…

    Silhouette D00d,

    No way Bambi likes u better. Wait till I get back 2 Barbados. U wont b turning ne door knobs w/ 2 broken arms.

    Yr worst enemy,
    The Ril Duncan Anderson

  • At 6:47 PM, Anonymous Silhouette Duncan Anderson said…


    W/Bambi, I don’t need arms 2 turn my knob. She alreddy sed she sleeps better w/me, cuz I don’t talk about Zed in my sleep. She is not really an alphabet kind of girl.

    Stick w/Eva & arrange world wide sports events w/her. U will b much happier.

    Yr silhouette,
    Silhouette Duncan Anderson


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