April's Real Blog

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Eva interviewed me on my career plans

Duncan, Eva, and I all 4got our PE uniforms, so we hadta sit on the bleachers while everyone else ran around frolicking on the track or sitting in the field conducting foot self-massage. A couple of the kids who were frolicking had ink-black skin and no features. They almost looked like silhouettes, but U cd tell they weren't silhouettes cuz U cd clearly make out their gym uni's and sneakers.

NEway, Eva decided 2 interview me abt my longterm plans. She does that sumtymes, and it can B a bit annoying if U R not in the rite mood. She went, "Do U totally know what U're gonna do, April? ...Career-wise?" Y can't I have friends who talk like normal teenagers? And notice her "totally." Who "totally" knows @ this pt? Esp. in grade 11. I told her, "Um.... I think so. Well... Not totally. Stuff cd change, but we'll C." I held up one knee 2 stretch a bit, so I cd pretend I was doing sumthing vaguely phys-eddish, and I continued w/"I mean, I've checked out what I need 2 do 2 B a veterinarian, an' it's what I THINK I want. @ least, it's what I'm interested in. I'm sort of.... U know... leaning in that direction. An' ... who knows. It all depends, rite? @ least I'm gonna give it my best shot." Dunc looked kinda worried, and Eva went "Sweet." Then Dunc turned his head 2 smirk @ her while she sed, "....I wish I was as sure of myself as U R!" I felt a gobsmacked look forming on my face.

Dunc sed, "It's 'I wish I were,' Crazy! We just went over 'conditional' in English class, don't U remember?" Eva scowled and sed she was being colloquial. Dunc sed "colloquial" is not an xxcuse 4 "stupid."

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  • At 9:07 AM, Blogger duncan anderson said…

    Hey, Apes,

    Sorry I didnt come 2 yr defence sooner, Im rilly rilly tired. Im almost finished my essay on The Diviners, Ill hafta finish it @ lunch. I no Silhouette D00d said he turned in the essay already but y wld I trust sum d00d who stole my life. I bet he wants me 2 fail the course so Im stuck @ RP Boire the rest of my life.


    Yr confused best bud,
    Duncan Anderson

    p.s. Silhouette D00d, WTF did u do w/ my gym kit? I cant buy much w/ $6.42.

    p.p.s. Jer, I need sum gigs rilly rilly fast. Ill b outta Horny T $ b4 Friday. Do u no ne bands looking 4 a bass playah?

  • At 9:14 AM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    no prob, dunc. hey, i think there is an open mic @ java jive 2nite. mayB we cd do sum kinda duet thing and raise sum $$$ 4 u.


  • At 3:11 PM, Anonymous Silhouette Duncan Anderson said…


    Gym kit? Silhouettes don’t need gym kits.

    Bambi is an animal & I don’t mean like a deer. I luv Barbados.

    Eva sent sum pics of u2 w/ur arm around her. She has nailed u. I knew she wud. She’s sweet, but Bambi is an animal.

    Yr silhouette,
    Silhouette Duncan Anderson

  • At 3:15 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    duncan, these guys r lookin’ 4 a bass player. i dunno how much u’ll get @open mic nite @java jive. mosta those peeps have alreddy spent mosta their money on the java.

  • At 3:31 PM, Anonymous michael patterson said…


    Formerly little sis. May I be the first to congratulate you on your excellent use of uncertain language in your essay for today. It is a hallmark of Patterson conversation to never use definite terms in talking to people, otherwise someone might hold us to a promise or something worse like tell the whole truth about something. During the years that my lovely wife, Deanna, was trying to convince me to quit working at Portrait Magazine, my use of passive language held her at bay for years. If you are really clever, you can actually get your degree as a veterinarian before anyone actually knows that you are trying to be a veterinarian. Good work, formerly little sis.

    Michael Patterson

  • At 3:34 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, y r peeps tellin' me ur wearin' black panties?

  • At 4:55 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    i don't know, jeremy.


  • At 6:18 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    btw, i m wearing the ones u got me, jeremy, the purple satin, w/the...

    w8, never mind. tmi.


  • At 9:42 PM, Blogger Zandra Larson said…

    Hi April,
    Last night the phone rang--Zenia and I were studying for exams. I answered it. "Help, I need your help," the person said.
    "It's for you," I told Zenia. She took the phone and after talking a bit, said,
    "No, it's for you." I took the phone and it was Duncan on the other line.
    "Help, I'm trapped, I have to write an essay on Margaret Laurence and my silhouette stole my life."
    "Your silhouette? Where are you? Can't Perdita do something?"
    "No, she can't. I'm trapped in Milborough. I don't have any money and I have to write essays and I'm not supposed to be here and my silhouette did it."
    "Duncan, what can I do? I'm stuck in Toronto writing exams."
    "Get Arne," Duncan said.
    "I don't know what good that'll do. Did you know that Arne's the first person to ever have a restraining order put on him by an entire country? I'm not sure how happy he'd be to help out anyone from Barbados right now." At that point a sharp, but flat, voice on the other line ordered Duncan off the phone. I sat for a bit then asked Zenia if she'd ever heard a silhouette. "They're kind of sharp, but flat, aren't they?"
    "I really shouldn't take you to the chem majors' parties."
    I sighed and emailed my brother.



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