April's Real Blog

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Going Anyway

Here's what Liz has 4 U all in her l8est e-mail 2 me:

I am sure your readers are all sitting on the edges of their seats, waiting to hear what I have to say next. Whenever I have stories to tell, they are so riveting!

After I'd changed my clothes from spilling coffee all over myself, into an identical outfit, I set down a bowl of chips. Then Warren and I went back to our conversation at the coffee table.

Warren said, "I've been offered a job at another outfit. They want me to go overseas and fly for an oil company. It's a better position and higher pay. I wanted to talk to you before I accepted." He put a chip in his mouth and said, "But I guess there's nothing to talk about, now that you're engaged." I told him, "Warren, you would have taken that job even if I was free." He replied, "I'd have asked you to come with me!" I came back with "And, I'd have said 'No.' And... You'd have gone anyway."

When I told him that last part, I held up my head with one hand and looked deeply at him with my beautiful, languid blue eyes. Boys love my big, blue eyes. That was something Eric praised me for, before I caught him cheating with Tina. Oh, no, I had to go and remind myself about that. My big, blue eyes are crying now!

Liz, there U go, getting yrself all worked up. Oh, well, maybe U can get Anthony to console U w/his stories abt lusting after U during his engagement with and marriage to Thérèse. That usually cheers U up.


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  • At 2:55 PM, Blogger howard said…


    It was a pretty good party last night. I was glad you and Jeremy could come over.

    I remember Marjee Mahaha recounting the story that led to their farewell party. She said, “Warren came up to me and said, ‘I've been offered a job at another outfit. They want me to go overseas and fly for an oil company. It's a better position and higher pay. I wanted to talk to you before I accepted.’ And I said, ‘Why do you care what my opinion is?’ And Warren said, ‘I want to know if you would come with me!’ I came back with ‘Will there be no more of this chasing after Elizabeth Patterson?’ And he said ‘No. She’s engaged’. So I said, ‘Yes’. We leave tomorrow. I’ve always wanted to travel overseas.”

    Then that narrator / biographer woman who has been hanging around Warren said, “And so Warren went, doomed to a life of unhappiness with his high-paying job and cheap floozy girlfriend. He would spend his life always wondering if he could have done something else to keep from losing Liz. He couldn't get her out of his mind. They would have been good together, he was sure of it. There was a warm, generous nature somewhere behind that shiny engagement ring she hid behind, and a spirit of adventure that meshed well with his, if only his spirit of adventure were satisfied with house-hunting in Milborough.”

    Then that Australian guy, Dray Colley said, “Crickey. That’s a corker. I’ve been a drongo. If I knew it was a piece of piss, I would have asked a sheila to go with me ages ago. What was I thinking, I had to be alone? Hey! Biographer! You’re a bonza sheila. Want to come with me?”

    Then that narrator / biographer woman said, “And so the biographer realized her task was over and complete with the offer of the Australian. No doubt there would be a life of outdoor-living, warm beer, passionate sweaty love-making, and conversation where she was continually checking her Australian slang dictionary; but at least she would no longer have to stay in the dismal and wretched place known only as Milborough.”

    I don’t know about you, but those conversations were the highlight of my evening.

    Howard Bunt

  • At 3:08 PM, Anonymous michael patterson said…


    Formerly little sis. Now you can see, in our sister’s own story about her and Warren, the advantages of having an engagement ring on your finger. Your conversations with boys may not make sense, but there is that one glaring truth of engagement which can keep anyone from getting confused about your true intent. Imagine if Liz didn’t have that ring. She might have taken a year off from work and gone to live overseas.

    I remember the last time I went overseas to interview the designer Divala in Japan. Josef Weeder and I had to find a way to share a little tiny room, and I wrote my story which got me both fired and the editor job at Portrait Magazine. After that trip, Deanna told me she was pregnant and I have never traveled since. Thank goodness for that. Can you imagine a life spent traveling around the world and writing stories with your best friend in one exotic location after another? My wedding ring and family responsibilities put an end to all that. Like Liz, I had a narrow escape thanks to my ring.

    Your time will come too, April, when you realize that no matter how appealing the world may seem to be, you will know that staying in Milborough is much, much better.

    Michael Patterson

  • At 3:31 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    that wuz a scary convo. gerald came up 2u & sed, "april, i've been offered a job playin’ drums 4 another band. they want me 2 go overseas & play 4 their tour. it's a better position & higher pay than wut becky iz payin’. i wunted 2 talk 2u b4 i accepted. do u wanna come?" then u sed, “i go back 2 winnipeg every summer, 2 get ready 2b a vet.” then he sed, “can’t u skip a summer? we’re gonna tour all ovah eastern europe.” then u sed, “no.” then he sed, "well i guess there's nothing 2 more talk ‘bout, now that ur gonna b a vet." then u told him, "gerald, u wud have have taken that job even if i wuz still in a band w/u & not gonna b a vet." he replied, "i asked u2 come w/me!" u came back w/ "& i sed 'no.' & ... u'd have gone neway." & gerald sed, “ur wrong. y wud i ask 4 ur opinion, if i am goin’ neway? if u can’t come w/me, i don’t wanna go overseas. i’ll just stick w/becky’s band.”

    u looked rilly confused aftah that convo. i’m rilly glad u decided not 2 go w/gerald on that trip.

  • At 4:49 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    mike, i m not gonna live in milborough. nor am i gonna marry gerald.

    jeremy, no way was i gonna travel w/ger. if i travel overseas, i'd rather travel w/u!



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