April's Real Blog

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Oh, here we go again

More dentistry stories from Dad. 2day, Dad plans 2 have lunch w/Dr. Ted and tell him abt this one time, not @ band camp, but @ the dental practice back in 1979 or 1980, when Jean Baker warned Dad, "Brawling O'Brian is in here w/an emergency toothache, John." Notice she didn't call him "Dr. P" back then. Brawling O'Brian was this huge guy who towered over Dad and was abt 2x as wide as him. Dad greeted this guy w/"--Well, come right in, Mr. er... O'Brian." I think Dad was trying 2 remember whether the guy's 1st name was Erwin or Erwood. Then, O'Brian grabbed Dad by both shoulders, looked in his eyes in what Dad thot was a menacing way, and went,"--Not so fast, Doc.--" Then he threw his arms around Dad and cried out, "...I'M SCARED!!"

Dad thinx telling Dr. Ted this story will B a bonding xxperience. I think mayB Ted will look in2 moving 2 Toronto 2 get away from Dad's stories.

Apes

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12 Comments:

  • At 10:46 AM, Anonymous Edwin "Brawling" O'Brian said…

    Hello, April Patterson. Boy, does that story take me back! I'm not nearly the brawler I used to be, but names stick, eh?

    I think I'd like to explain something. One time, when your father was filling one of my teeth, he didn't believe me when I warned him that the novacaine had not quite "taken." Your father was a bit brash and cocky back in them days, and he kind of brushed me off. Ooh, boy, did I feel the drill! I grabbed your father by his lapels and I'm afraid I nearly knocked the wind outta him that time!!!

    That's why I was so scared the next time I went in, which was the time you told about on this-here blog entry. Your father became better at believing what his patients tell him, but I never forgot that one time, and as soon as your father took on an associate, I switched over. G'bless Dr. C!

    Edwin "Brawling" O'Brian

     
  • At 12:58 PM, Anonymous michael patterson said…

    April,

    Formerly little sis. I think some people have seen Jean Baker calling Dad “John” in public and seen her whispering things in his ear, and drawn the wrong conclusion. Please tell your readers that, despite the fact that these actions are more intimate than he has been with mom in years, does not mean that he and Jean Baker are having an affair. Anthony Caine has told me there is more to having an affair with a married man than calling him by his first name and whispering secrets to him. That’s the sort of thing that people who are just close friends, but may some day get married, do. I am sure you and your readers can make the distinction.

    Love,
    Michael Patterson

     
  • At 1:24 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, that convo w/brawlin’ o’brian reminds me a lotta last nite. u & me were out w/eva & duncan 2 celebr8 the firin’ of coach paul maurice, who gave us 2 more years of the leafs outa the playoffs. wen u & eva went off 2 the washroom, i started 2 go 2 the washroom myself, wen duncan sed, “--not so fast, jeremy.--" then he threw his arms ‘round me & sed, "...I'M SCARED!!" i sed, “wtf? d00d! get off!” he stopped w/the huggin’ & sed, “i’m scared i may end up in mboro married 2 eva. she keeps talkin’ ‘bout my travel agency that organizes worldwide sportin’ events & how she’z gonna work there part time ‘till we have kids & how april’s dad iz gonna nvest in my bizness & i will have 2 complement him every tyme ic him.” i sed, “d00d. thass st00pid. u don’t hafta stay in mboro or marry eva or compliment dr. p.” then duncan sed, “d00d. once sum1 names a career 4u & a gf 4u in mboro, thass the career & girl ur gonna have. i’m nevah gonna b w/zed again. i’m nevah gonna get enuff money 2 go back 2 barbados & beat up my silhouette & get my life back. i’m doomed, d00d!”

    neway, thass y duncan looked a little teary wen u came back frum the washroom w/eva. i told i wud try 2 find him sum job as a bass guitarist so he cud make the $500 4 a one-way on air canada 2 barbados. if u hear of ne jobs, let me know.

     
  • At 1:43 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    mike, this is the 2nd time u have sed that sumthing dad & jean baker did is something that ppl who r close friends, but who mite sumday marry wd do. r u suggesting that dad mite leave mom and marry jean baker?!?!?

    jeremy, thanx 4 xxplaining. i will try and find out abt bass-playing jobs 4 dunc.

    apes

     
  • At 2:21 PM, Anonymous michael patterson said…

    April,

    Formerly little sis. Dad leave mom and marry Jean Baker?! Don't be silly. Aside from being married, Jean Baker has a background in the circus.

    Love,
    Michael Patterson

     
  • At 4:17 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    omg, mike! dad LOVES circuses. i'm worried now.

    apes

     
  • At 5:34 PM, Anonymous michael patterson said…

    April,

    Formerly little sis. Please try to remember that Dad’s favourite type of woman is not a circus woman. As you may recollect from Dad’s December 2006 monthly letter, he prefers very thin women carrying Stihl chainsaws. Now, if Jean Baker were thin (which she is not) or she had a background as a circus performer who did an act involving chainsaws (which she did not), then there might be a problem. The fact that Jean is thinner than mom and more proficient with chainsaws than mom, should not be considered a factor.

    Please tell your readers that, despite the fact that Dad loves circuses and Jean Baker has a circus background, this does not mean that he and Jean Baker are having an affair. Anthony Caine has told me there is more to having an affair with a married man than coming from a desirable background. People used to think that just because Elizabeth was a Patterson girl from Milborough and Anthony’s ex-wife was a Quebecoise, Anthony and Elizabeth were having an affair. As Anthony would tell you, having a desirable background is just the sort of thing that people who are just close friends, but may some day get married, have. I am sure you and your readers can make the distinction.

    Love,
    Michael Patterson

     
  • At 5:48 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    duncan, i think i found a group 4u. they r a st8s band called billy and the boingers & they need sum1 2 play bass. right now they have a rabbity kinda guy who plays drums, a penguinish kinda guy who plays rhythm tuba, & a lead singer/tongue player (wutevah that is). they sed all u hafta know is 3 chords & b able 2 grimace musically. also u hafta wear spandex. their manager iz named steve dallas & he promised u can make $500 canadian ez. then i told him the xxchange r8 4 u.s. 2 canadian dollars is 1.0149 rite now & he sed it wudn’t b az ez, but mebbe aftah a few gigz. lemme know if ur innerested.

     
  • At 7:28 PM, Anonymous Eva Abuya said…

    April, your brother keeps writing, "I am sure you and your readers can make the distinction." But he keeps saying that your dad and this Jean Baker person are like "people who are just close friends, but may some day get married." And he keeps using Anthony Caine as an example. But Anthony Caine and your big sister were that kind of "close friends" and they ARE getting married. So I don't see a distinction, do you?

    Eva

     
  • At 7:29 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    nope, tbh, i m not seeing a distinction. that's y i m worried. esp. since i heard a rumour that jean baker used 2 have a chainsaw-juggling act!

    apes

     
  • At 9:16 PM, Anonymous michael patterson said…

    April,

    Formerly little sis. I guess your readers are not bright enough to make the distinction after all. Let me try to explain it a little better. Jean Baker is cheerful, pleasant to be around, and will listen to Dad talk about his problems. It’s one thing to be around someone like that for a few days a week; but for every day? That’s not the woman for Dad. Dad prefers Mom, who is almost the opposite of Jean Baker in every way. Mom has the characteristics Dad (and really any man) would want to be around day-in and day-out. I am sure you agree, April.

    I hope that clears things up for your less intelligent readers, and stops these ugly rumours about Dad and Jean Baker.

    Love,
    Michael Patterson

     
  • At 10:01 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    that's pretty low of u, insulting my intelligence & eva's, 2. u were the one who kept making the non-distinction distinction, and then u back away from that by saying mom's got all these "characteristics" that men wanna b around day in and day out. what did mom do, threaten u? pay u?

    apes

     

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