April's Real Blog

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Mike sed "Yes"

I got a lil e-mail from Merrie. Here's what she had 2 say:
Hi, Auntie April! It's Merrie. Do you need a story for your blog? I have a story. Attic Guy/Daddy was typing at his computer. I said, "...Daddy?" He said, "Hi!" Then I said, "Daddy!" And he said, "Mm!" He was not really listening. I can tell. I asked, "Daddy? Can I have a cookie?" He didn't say anything. He just shut his eyes and typed so loud all his TAP TAP TICK TAP TAP TAP TA-TAP TICK TAPPITA TAPPITA TICK TIK TICK TAP noises fillled up the air. I tried again. I asked, "Daddy?" He scrunched his eyes like something hurt and went, "Mmm?" I tried again. I went, "Can I have some cookies? Can I get down a box of cookies an' eat them? ...All of them?" He didn't say anything. He was staring at his screen like I wasn't there. I said, "Dad?" Then I asked, "Daddy? Are you listening to me?" Daddy said, "Uh-huh.. Yes. Sure!"

I ran over to Robin. He was waiting to hear about what Daddy would say about the cookies. I told him about the "yes" and we ran to the kitchen. I got a chair and climbed on the counter and got the cookies from the cabinet. Two boxes. One for me and one for Robin. Then we both sat on the counter and ate cookies right out of our boxes. Then when Mommy came in and got that look you call "gobsmacked," I told her, "Daddy said 'yes.'" He did, you know!


U got him there, didn't U, Merrie? Well played. Try listening next time, Mike.


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  • At 12:15 PM, Anonymous Robin said…

    Robin have cookies! Cookies are good! Yay Robin!

  • At 12:16 PM, Anonymous Merrie Patterson said…

    Auntie April, can you come over and play with us? Daddy is being boring again!


  • At 12:17 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    sure, merrie. we can do some crafts!


  • At 6:59 PM, Anonymous Liz Patterson said…

    April, as usual you just don't understand. I can hardly wait until you and Gerald get married and you get to take care of your stepchild from his first marriage (to Becky) and the children that you and he have together. Then you'll see.

    Like this one time, just the other day. Anthony had a meeting of the executive committee of his astronomy club, so he left me in charge of Frenchy. I had papers to grade and lessons to plan, so I brought my laptop and my students' papers with me to Anthony's house.

    While I was working, Frenchy kept saying, "Elizabeth?" And I'd say, "Mm" or "Hi." She asked, "Can I eat all of the cupcakes that are in the refrigerator?" Anthony had bought a bunch of cupcakes because Frenchy's daycare was going to have a bake sale the next day. I didn't answer her, and she said, "Elizabeth? Elizabeth, do you hear me?" I said, "Yeah, sure, whatever." Then she went away and was quiet for a while. That was great.

    Until she came back. "Elizabeth, I ate all the cupcakes because you said 'yes.' Now I have a tummy ache and no cupcakes for the bake sale tomorrow. Can we go to the bakery and get more?" I didn't answer because I was super-busy with my lesson plans and on a total roll with a great idea I had for a math lesson using mail-order catalogues. I have a lot of mail-order catalogues.

    She kept yammering for the longest time about me taking her to the bakery, and then after a while, she said, "Elizabeth, can I borrow your purse and keys, drive your car to the bakery and buy more cupcakes?" I didn't answer, because I was so absorbed with my brilliant lesson plans. She went back to asking me, "Elizabeth? Elizabeth, do you hear me?" And again, I said, "Yeah, sure, whatever." She went away again, which is so nice. But then in a little while, I heard a CRUNNCH sound in the driveway and a whole lot of yelling and screaming.

    I went outside to find a bunch of neighbours, yelling and screaming, pointing at the car, which Frenchy had backed into the trash cans and mailbox. I exclaimed, "My car! My car has been dingged!" And some of the neighbors were all about, "The baby! That little girl! Is she okay?" And "What kind of an irresponsible idiot lets a three-year-old try to drive?" And I had to defend myself, so I said, "She may only be three, but she has very advanced verbal skills!"

    Someone called the police, but thank goodness it was Brad Luggsworth who showed up. He said, "You know that was incredibly stupid, don't you?" And I said, "Yes, it was stupid of Frenchy to drive into those cans and mailbox, but she's only three!" And he said, "No, I mean it was incredibly stupid of you to allow this to happen." I started to cry and he looked kind of panicky. He said, "Look, my boss finds out I made Elizabeth Patterson cry, and there'll be hell to pay. Luckily Fran├žoise isn't hurt, so just don't let anything like this happen again."

    I wiped my eyes with my sleeve and nodded. God, April, that was so stressful. Just my luck, Tracey Mayes was walking by just as Brad was leaving, and I had to tell her what just happened. She gave me this totally judgemental look, I hate when people look at me like that, it's so unfair, she should understand.

    And now my car is in Gordo's garage for body work. I'll have to borrow your car for a while. Mom says I can!


  • At 7:00 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    omg, liz, u r a total hazar 2 yrself and others. and i m NOT gonna marry ger!

    gah, i cannot w8 until i m away from uni so liz and mike can't keep borrowing my car.



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