Warren reappears for more throttling

I got an e-mail from Liz, peeps, and here's what she had 2 say:

April,

I'm so glad I'm finally engaged! I can't even tell you what a relief it is to have the token that says "I'm taken." Unless a lady has that token, there is no way she can keep other interested men at bay. If she tries, she runs the risk of having those men point out, "Well, I don't see a RING on your finger!" And nobody wants to risk that kind of humiliation!

But now I have my "token." Here's why it's so important. You might want to take notes. Recently, I was opening my apartment door after returning from the grocery store with two bags of food. When I was asked "paper or plastic," I got so confused that I said,"Give me one of each!" So they did. They really shouldn't spring those kinds of decisions on a girl! Where was I? Oh, yeah. So, I was about to unlock my door when I heard, "Elizabeth?" I looked over my shoulder, and there was a silhouette, but I recognized the silhouette, and said, "Warren!"

Warren took my paper bag from me while I still held the plastic one, and he said, "Here. Let me help you with that stuff." And I told him, "OK, but...." We started to go down the staircase that leads into my apartment, and he interrupted me with "Sorry I showed up here so late the other night... I just wanted to see you." Then we were both quiet until we had gotten to the kitchen and I started to put away my groceries. Then he continued with his talking. He said, "Look, I know I was never the most thoughtful or reliable..." And I told him, Warren, ...I'm engaged."

Now, April, I know from years of girl-experience that this isn't the sort of thing a guy will take your word for. You need proof. So I held up my left hand, to show him my engagement ring (token!) and the ring let off a magic shininess all around my hand! And the magic shininess must have scared Warren, and he went, "AAAAHHH!"

And that's why these tokens of takenness are so important for a girl. If I hadn't had that ring, I would have been forced to have a lengthy discussion with Warren where I didn't let on how serious my relationship with Anthony is. Because without a ring, no one would believe it's that serious! So April, when you are finally ready to get engaged to Gerald Delaney-Forsythe, make sure you tell him what a ringless young lady goes through!

Liz

Liz, Y is it that U and Mike won't listen? Let me tell you slowly. I. AM. NEVER. GOING. TO. MARRY. GERALD. So step the heck off already!

And poor Warren. You considered yourself broken up with him when he had to go to Yellowknife and couldn't get together w/U when U wanted him 2. But U never bothered 2 clue him in. And yr excuse was U weren't engaged 2 NE1 yet? How does that make NE sense? All U had 2 do was clue him in that U didn't want 2 d8 him NEmore.

Apes