Dizzy
Hey, there, foax, there's not 2 much going on rite now, just.... Oh, w8. BridezilLiz is here and she's yelling 4 me again. I'll B rite back.
HA! It's me, Liz! I sent April out on an errand because I knew she'd be logged into her blog, and I want to tell you a sweet, sweet story that will FORCE you to like Anthony! Oh, but first let me change this boring text. I want the text fancier. And in my wedding colours!
Much better, don't you think? I don't know why people say violet and teal are not a nice combination!
Anyway, Anthony and I took Frenchy to the park recently, for a picnic. Isn't that sweet and quaint? After I lay down the blanket, Frenchy insisted, "Swing me, Daddy! Swing me!!" So Anthony grabbed her by both hands and swung her so fast, she didn't seem to have legs the whole time she was swinging. She seemed like a torso. It was a little scary, but very SWEET, April. Sweet! Then, suddenly Anthony was so dizzy, he had to let go and sit down. He had a little twister over his head and dizziness bubbles and specks around his head, too.
And silly Frenchy, she asked, "Why are you stopping? ...I'm not dizzy yet!" See how charming? Don't you and your cold-hearted friends just LOVE Anthony now? You'd better love him! Even though he hasn't helped out with the wedding, which is women's work anyway, so don't be mad at him for that, Mom and Dad say you're not allowed!
Liz (NOT BridezilLiz!)
Oh, man, I can't believe Liz just did that! What a freak! But, oh, well, that lame story is what I was going to tell you about anyway, so I guess I had 2 spend the time on Liz's lame errand instead of Liz's lame story, eh?
Apes
HA! It's me, Liz! I sent April out on an errand because I knew she'd be logged into her blog, and I want to tell you a sweet, sweet story that will FORCE you to like Anthony! Oh, but first let me change this boring text. I want the text fancier. And in my wedding colours!
Much better, don't you think? I don't know why people say violet and teal are not a nice combination!
Anyway, Anthony and I took Frenchy to the park recently, for a picnic. Isn't that sweet and quaint? After I lay down the blanket, Frenchy insisted, "Swing me, Daddy! Swing me!!" So Anthony grabbed her by both hands and swung her so fast, she didn't seem to have legs the whole time she was swinging. She seemed like a torso. It was a little scary, but very SWEET, April. Sweet! Then, suddenly Anthony was so dizzy, he had to let go and sit down. He had a little twister over his head and dizziness bubbles and specks around his head, too.
And silly Frenchy, she asked, "Why are you stopping? ...I'm not dizzy yet!" See how charming? Don't you and your cold-hearted friends just LOVE Anthony now? You'd better love him! Even though he hasn't helped out with the wedding, which is women's work anyway, so don't be mad at him for that, Mom and Dad say you're not allowed!
Liz (NOT BridezilLiz!)
Oh, man, I can't believe Liz just did that! What a freak! But, oh, well, that lame story is what I was going to tell you about anyway, so I guess I had 2 spend the time on Liz's lame errand instead of Liz's lame story, eh?
Apes
posted by April Patterson @ 7:01 AM
4 Comments:
At 8:39 AM,
Anonymous said…
Liz's lame story is, sadly, a lead-in to another exercise in tedium and irritation: Françoise spontaneously declaring Liz her real Mommy because she's physically present without us seeing that honor being earned. Elizabeth might actually be there for the child emotionally but your mother is too busy remembering being oppressed to let us see it. There are a lot of things that don't track because of a pointless stroll down Memory Lane.
At 10:09 AM,
April Patterson said…
u mite b rite, dc2. that soundz pretty likely. bleh.
apes
At 10:26 AM,
Anonymous said…
April, Plz tell your stupid to-be-BIL that he could dislocate a child's arms from their sockets, swinging them around that hard, when they are that young. It doesn't matter if F. is 50 years old in mental and emotional terms, her muscularskeleto-system is not fully developed yet!
I worry about the people around you, April. I will be glad when u get away from them, but I'll still worry about F.
At 11:33 AM,
April Patterson said…
i will tell anthony and liz abt that, anon, but i doubt they will listen. they think they know everything, and whenev sum1 brings up, like, safety recs, they act as if it's hysteria instead of science. like letting francie sleep in a top bunk!
apes
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