April's Real Blog

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

SAMEness and Difference

Here's sumthing Mike posted in the wee hrs this morning, abt the whole drama of the houses:

Formerly little sis. There comes a time in a man’s life when he has to think about the past and the present and the future, I guess all time, and wonder about his place in it. I stood on the top of the landing and remembered a conversation I had had with mom in that very spot almost 2 years ago. I could see us clearly talking about how it would nice if I and my family got to live in this house. But then as I looked about I realized my parents’ place looks different today. In fact, when my lovely wife Deanna leaned up against me and put her arm around me, (which she does a lot these days), and asked me, “What are you thinking?”, I told her that exact thing that the place looks different.

For instance there was a door just to my left on the top of the landing. That wasn’t there when I was talking to mom back in 2005. And there was this big wall on my right where the landing abruptly stopped. That wasn’t there back in 2005. Then I looked down the stairs, and I swear I saw the stairs at the bottom near the rec room, were enormous and facing at odd angles against a flat wall, which connected to a first floor landing which was at yet another odd angle to the flat wall. I remembered the house used to have normal stairs. And here’s the weirdest part, little sis. There was one leg and one arm on top of the leg which extended into the stair well at such an odd angle, I thought there was no way they could belong to a normal human being. Well, little sis, either my parents’ place looks different, or I was starting to get some terrific vertigo.

I wasn’t dizzy, so I started to think, “Maybe I don’t want to live in such a different-looking place after all.” I speculated out loud to Deanna, “If dad convinces mom to move to the Stibbs’ place…” And I was going to follow that up with, “then we would be practically obligated to buy my parents’ place.” But before I could say that, my lovely Deanna interrupted with her opinion which was, “I’d love to live here, Michael!” What can you say when the little woman comes up with a heartfelt statement like that? You have to give in, is what.

I was ready to say, “Well then we must buy the place for your sake.” But then my lovely Deanna didn’t stop talking and she stared out into space as if she were seeing something in front. I looked to what she was seeing, but there was nothing there. That didn’t stop her from saying, “Merrie and Robin can play in the same park you played in, slide down the same ravine, make forts in the same yard, go to the same schools…” I was about to say to her, “Deanna, dear. You may not remember this, but we used to go to the same elementary school and we used to live in the same town,” when I was interrupted by the overwhelming feeling someone was making a pun off the word “same” in a thought balloon, but I couldn’t see who it was.

Then I was struck with an even more terrifying thought. Why doesn’t Deanna remember our common past herself? Her memory is usually much better than mine. I stretched my memory way back to the time when I used to be in school with Deanna. I saw everything clearly. Not only that but the Deanna I used to know in elementary school had a pointed nose, and normally-sized lips. She moved away when I was young, and I saw her again after she had her car accident.

Could I have been mistaken? Had I presumed that the Deanna Sobinski in the car wreck was the same as the one I knew in elementary school, just because of the similarity of names? I said to Deanna, “We went to the same elementary school you know.” Then Deanna got a strange look on her face and said, “That was a silly mistake I made” and she waved her hand in front of me with an unusual gesture and I suddenly realized that she was actually placing my childhood experience before hers, as a good wife should, and it didn’t have anything at all to do with forgetting our common past. How silly of me to think so.

Michael Patterson
Mike, I think U saw my arm and leg. I was kinda leaning in2 the staircase and hearing U and D talk. Also, rite after Dee sed all that stuff abt the kiddles growing up an' playing in the same places U did, I found myself thinking, "::sigh:: Nothing's gonna B the same." But I wasn't punning, I was just in my own thots abt changes. BTW, I hope U xxplain 2 Dee how dangerous the ravine gets when it floods. U can't go assuming Edgar or Dixierat wd B around and able 2 save whichever little falls in, and that the other doggie wd B able 2 get yr attention 2 come out and C what's going on. Esp. considering how zoned out an' oblivious U and Dee can get.

Jeremy, sorry abt hurting yr ears again. But on the plus side, I did hear Vanessa telling the other V-girls that U mite B the most victimificant boy in Milboro rite now.


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  • At 12:55 PM, Anonymous liz patterson said…


    I asked Mom why she thought Dee didn't mention how she used to live in Milborough too, and Mom said, "Deanna's childhood is not important. She is a woman. Her job is to lovingly support her man's dreams. And Michael once told her he thought it would be great if they lived in this house. Dee is just letting Michael know she will be the best possible wife and try to recreate his childhood for their children. After all, Michael is a man, and my favorite child--oops! Did I say that out loud?", so there you go, Dee is just doing what a good Patterson wife does and is not thinking about herself, like Iris.


  • At 5:05 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, thanx 4 the good thots 'bout vanessa, but she haz been showin' the v-girls a pic of her new v-boy, she found thru sum single men in prison connection. it's sum guy named vaynard vahoney. he's rilly muscular & vanessa sez he iz way more victimificant than i am. sum of the stories vanessa told 'bout him made him seem more kinda st00pid than victimificant 2 me, but mosta the v-girls thot he wuz nice-lookin' in the pic vanessa had of him w/o his shirt on. all xxcept vicki simone, who didn't like him @all 4 sum reasn. i guess she prefers guys like gordie.

    also, if u cud not hang on my ears till i fall 2 the ground, it mite b a little less painful. i liked it a lot bettah when u jumped on my back & grabbed my ears & made me ride u 'round skool while u sed, "the goodness is comin'. the goodness is comin'." it wuz more mbarrassin', but not az ruff on the ears.

  • At 7:03 PM, Anonymous becky mcguire said…


    2day after skool, howie an' i were sitting around in the kitchen when my mom came in an' she sed, "i've been thinking. mayb i could sell u my old house on tumbledown lane. i got it in the divorce an' never sold it."

    so we went over there 2 look @ it. i dunno y, bcuz we both remember what it looks like. neway, we were standing there in the upstairs hallway an' howie asked me, "what r u thinking, becky?" an' i sed "this house looks different now," bcuz it does, now it is full of cobwebs since nobody's lived in it like 4 a year or so.

    then suddenly howie's lips got all big an' puffy an' he started practically crying, going on an' on, like "I'd love to live here, becky! our babies can play in the same pool u played in, throw stuff down the same sinkhole out back, make forts in the same yard, go 2 the same skools..."

    an' i wuz like, "uh, howie? what's wrong w/ u? 1st off, u hung out @ this house 2! an' a sinkhole is dangerous 4 kids, like ravines an' rivers, so we should have it filled in or fenced off. remember what happened 2 li'l apes? plus, u gotta admit, this house duz not have a gr8 floorplan. it's kinda wonky, an' it changes a lot." like, 4 instance, r old house didn't used 2 have a upstairs.

    but howie had these weird stars in his eyes. at 1st i thot mayb he'd been cheating on me w/ brenda starr, but then i looked it up on webmd an' these stars r called "nostalgia's constellation" or sumthing. it's not usually fatal, but it can make u real real dumb. sheesh. we can only w8 2 c if it wears off. so if u see howie, i'm sorry he's acting so weird.


  • At 7:06 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    sorry abt the ear stuff, jeremy. steph sez it shd b outta my system by the wkend.

    also sorry 2 hear abt vanessa. vaynard vahoney, eh? r we sure this isn't maynard mahoney (marjee's ex), changing his name 2 get in good w/the v-girls?

    liz, yeah, mom repeated the same thing 2 me when i got home. it makes me kinda depressed 2 think abt it.


  • At 7:35 PM, Blogger howard said…


    You would not believe how nice the house on Tumbledown Lane is. If Krystle convinces Becky to sell it to us, then I can move in here with Becky. I’m thinking I should just call Becky by the name Krystle, Jr. or maybe just Krystle for short. I wonder if Krystle is interested in getting a boob job and wearing low cut, slutty clothes. As for me, I definitely need to dye my hair blonde and spend more time reading the Classics, and wearing leather jackets.

    I can’t wait to move to Tumbledown Lane. After Krystle and I have our first child, which we will call Becky, of course, then we can begin to train her to become a pop rock star, while at the same time start to lay the groundwork for an ugly divorce.

    But the house is perfect. Krystle says it needs to be cleaned and painted, which I think I can agree to do, as long as we don’t change any of the colours. I want our baby Becky, to be in a room with the same colours Krystle had growing up in the house when she was Becky.

    And of course our baby Becky must be the best friends with Mike and Deanna’s 3rd baby daughter, April (whose name is kind of like yours), and spend time with each other all the time until they have a terrible fight at the Grade 8 grad. I can’t wait until baby Becky can walk so she can go over to Sharon Park Drive and play in the ravine with April, and help her torture her dogs.

    Krystle, Jr. is looking at what I am writing. She just said, “This has gone too far, Howie.” I just told her, “No, my name is Thorvald McGuire.” Where did she get that frying pan? One of these days, she is going to have to tell how she can hide it on herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

  • At 7:41 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    howard, 4 whenev u get conscious again? how is it that the name "april" is "kind of like" the name "april" and not xxactly the same name?

    and fyi, i never tortured ne dogs in the ravine. i nearly drowned an' got rescued. then poor farley's heart gave out from the cold and the stress. sheesh, i thot u understood that.


  • At 1:08 AM, Blogger howard said…


    Sorry. I don't know what was going through my head before. I know you didn't torture dogs in a ravine. However, Becky has told me stories about how you used to hang on your dogs' ears and things like that. Or am I thinking of Jeremy? I don't know. My brain is a little confused now.

    Howard Bunt


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