Trading Spaces?

Mike posted this bit in the wee hrs this morning. Seems he, Mom, Mike, an' Dee went 2 look @ the Stibbs Teeny-Tiny Train House:

April,

Formerly little sis. The day finally arrived in which mom would get to see what George Stibbs’ house looks like. As you know Deanna and I had pretty much decided before we went that the house was too small for my family, so the trip ostensibly was to satisfy mom’s curiosity. Dad had written in his monthly letter from February that the house had marble countertops, oak trim done everywhere, with some tile floors; so I was curious to see if there actually were those things in the house, or if dad, as he does so often in his monthly letters, was simply making things up. I am glad to say I did see some oak trim where the wall met the ceiling.

As mom entered the house, she does as she normally does when she enters someone’s house---she tells the owner what a lovely house they have. Some people might shake hands with the owner or ask to be invited in, but that is not the way mom does it. I remember once, Mira Sobinski, told me it was polite to greet people as you entered their house. She obviously didn’t know what she was talking about.

George responded to mom’s statement with “Uh-huh…We designed it for our retirement.” I know how that is. Deanna and I have often said that we would not get nice furniture until our children were full grown, and the time spent in our room with the new furniture there is certainly a good example of that. In any case, I understood George perfectly. Save the nice house for your retirement.

Dad got confused though, and he was whispering to me. He said, “Please forgive George. This is a wartime house, built shortly after World War II for wartime veterans coming home. George may be old but he’s not old enough to have designed the house for his retirement. What he really means is that he redecorated the interiour for his retirement.”

Then George started wandering off talking about something or other having to do with how there used to not be many houses here 10 years ago before his wife died. I sort of tuned him out and he sort of tuned us out, too, and walked away. Then Dad whispered, “Lois died last year, so George has only been here for the last 11 years. I think he has forgotten we live just down the road from him. The neighbouhood wasn’t that barren 11 years ago. You were only 19 then, Mike. Then dad launched into a story about how things were 11 years ago. Deanna rolled her eyes at dad so hard, I thought they were headed off her head.

I suddenly realized I had forgotten to zip up, so I went over to the window in silhouette to disguise my actions. Mom came over to help, and then said to me in a voice plain enough for everyone to hear, “Your dad has always loved this corner lot. What do you think, Michael?” I replied in a loud enough voice for everyone to hear, “It’s pretty nice, alright. But there are only two bedrooms.” Then mom said per her cue, “Yes, the house IS small.” Dad had been muttering about how he liked the place because it was on 3 lots, and not because it was a corner lot, but interrupted himself saying, “But….you could add on!!” I whispered to mom, “Does dad know we’re not buying this place?” Mom said, “Apparently not. Why doesn’t he listen when I tell him things?”

So, I decided to squelch dad right then and there. I was feeling about 10 cm taller than he was, and I said, “Dad! For what this house and property are worth…Deanna and I could buy YOUR place!!” I have to admit that was putting it on the table for me. I threatened him where he lives. I touched his chest and even gestured to dad down below as if I were getting ready to touch him personally, an action which usually gets his attention. Mira Sobinski says when I do that with Wilf Sobinski, it makes me look like some kind of pervert. Shows how much she knows. I had dad’s complete attention and he gave one of those looks he does, where he has no mouth, or eyes, or nostrils. It’s difficult to read his emotions when he is like that, but I knew it was a positive response.

That’s it for right now, formerly little sis. I’ll save the rest for tomorrow.
Love,
Michael Patterson

LOLfulness. Stay tuned 2 C if they reached the conclusion that it wd B a gd idea 4 Mom & Dad 2 take the lil house an' let Mike an' Dee an' the littles have the big Pattermanse.

Oh, and Anthony, Liz has a major hangover and dried vom in her hair this morning. And Dad doesn't look so gr8 either. MayB when U guyz go out drinking 2gether, U shd make sure it's not a school/work nite. I M pretty sure Liz is gonna call in "sick." Dunno abt Dad, tho.

Apes