April's Real Blog

Sunday, April 01, 2007

I'm 16, I'm not a kid NEmore

Hey, Happy B-day 2 meeeeee! 16, woot!

2nite B-ing a school nite an' all, we did my b-day celebration last nite so's I cd stay out until 1 AM. How cube!

So I performed that b-day song a lot of U have already heard, and Mom showed up behind me just as I got 2 the "hell" part, so I turned that in2 "hello" an' she told us the [pink] cake was ready.

So, Ger, Dunc, Eva, Mom, Dad, Mike, Dee, and the littles all gathered around the table and Liz showed up w/a camera 2 snap my pic as I got ready 2 blow out the candles. Mom was like, "Happy birthday, April!" And Ger was all, "She's 16 and she's SMOKIN'!!" Then he remembered that he was standing next 2 Dad and got kinda worried, saying, "I mean that in an allegorical sense, sir." As Ger was saying that, I bent down 2 blow out the candles. Dunc was standing rite behind me, and according 2 Eva, Dunc kinda took advantage of Ger's head being turned 2 do a comedy "Hey I'm humping the birthday girl" positioning rite behind me.

As I was cutting up the cake, Ger got kinda eager, w/"Cut up yr cake, girl--an' let's party!"

After we 8 cake, every1 kinda lined up behind me and went in2 purple silhouette, as I sed, "Thanx 4 the gift, every1." Xxcept I wasn't facing "every1"--I had my back 2 them, as if we were all facing a documentary camera, like on that show The Office. That was kinda odd.

As we got ready 2 leave, I gave Mom a kiss, all "The cake was gr8, Mom. We'll B back by 1 AM." Mom was like, "Have fun, honey."

After we left, Mike sez he saw Mom and Dad go 2 the window 2 watch us leaving. And he tells me that Mom was all, "There she goez. It seemz like yesterday she was just a baby. Now, she's a lovely young woman." Then Dad was, like, "Our children have all grown up, Elly. R U thinking what I'm thinking?" Then they sort of tangoed and screamed out, "WE DID IT!" Which is kinda weird, cuz I'm only 16, and most 'rents don't think they're all done raising their kids when the kid is 16. But I guess since I'm the "oops" kid and so much younger than Mike an' Liz, Mom and Dad R just tired of the whole parent thing, so they're ready 2 pretend they belong 2 sum bygone era when 16-yo's ventured out on their own as a regular, non-runaway practice.

Hm, Mom just yelled that Jeremy's here now. I guess he has his prezzie. Oh, and Luis and Alto had sum reason they cdn't B @ the b-day celebration, but I'm not sure what the reason is.

Apes, 16, not a kid NEmore, &c

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  • At 3:53 PM, Blogger Vicki Simone said…

    Happy 16th, Apes! Only 3 more yrs until we can drink legally, w00t!

    I don't know if u & Ger have anything planned 2day, but me & Gordie r @ Starbux by Lilliput's if yr around there. I've got a present 4 u, I'm so excited 4 u 2 open it!


  • At 4:52 PM, Anonymous Iris Richards said…

    April dear,

    Happy Sweet Sixteen! Congratulations on reaching such a milestone birthday. Jim and I couldn't be prouder of you, our favorite grandchild.

    I'm sorry we missed you party. Jim can't get out as much as he'd like these days! However, we will celebrate with our own party. It will be so fun! We have many presents ready for you.

    I hope you had fun staying out late with your friends. You are quite the young lady now, and so pretty too. Can't wait to see you!

    Iris Richards

  • At 5:02 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    hey, so i hung w/vicks an' gordie 4 a bit (thanx 4 the adorable top u got me, vicks!) and now i m on my way 2 c gramps an' iris 4 a lil while.


  • At 5:35 PM, Anonymous gerald forsythe said…

    Woo hoo! My baby's 16! Time 2 get LAID!!!

    Gerald Millicent "Soon to be Not A Virgin" Delaney-Forsythe

  • At 6:47 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    not with that 'tude, dude.


  • At 7:29 PM, Blogger duncan anderson said…

    Hey, Apes,

    HAPPY LIBERATION DAY! U R 16 & U CAN LIVE WHERE U WANT 2!!! I hope u will w8 til I turn 16 so we can move out 2gether.

    That was a rilly cube partee. It was rilly nice 2b sumwhere w/ Zed when I was ok abt being w/ her. Thank u 4 inviting Zed, I rilly need 2 c her more 2 get ovah her.

    I thot u wld think that I ment that I will always b @ yr back if u need me. Im sorry if u thot I wanted u 2 hump me. Thats not what I was thinking u r my bud. BTW, if I wanted 2 hump u I wld look in yr eyes & not stare @ yr butt, k, not that I want 2.

    L8r. Evah & I r @ Horny Ts w8ing 4 dbl-dbls & Timbits.

    Yr best friend 4evah,


    p.s. I still want 2 no if I shld beat up Ger. Evah says I have 2 ask u cos we need 2 audition nu drummers if I have 2 beat him up.

  • At 8:04 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    dunc, thanx 4 xxplaining abt having my back. eva got a bit thrown off, i think. i can w8 @least until u r 16 b4 moving out. i don't think i want u 2 beat up ger, but he better not push it like the way he soundz in that post he made 2day.

    glad zed was able 2 meet us 4 the b-day celebration after the cake thing @ the house. vicks and gordie, 2. sorry u cdn't make it becky. oh, and jeremy, i'd actually called yr mom 2 invite u 2 meet us, but she sed sumthing abt u being 2 bizzy.


  • At 8:06 PM, Anonymous Eva Abuya said…

    Sorry about the confusion, April. Duncan explained to me about what he was doing. BTW, drummers have been giving me CDs of their playing, just in case we need to start auditioning.


  • At 9:04 PM, Anonymous michael patterson said…


    Little sis. Well it was the "comedy 'Hey I'm humping the birthday girl' positioning right behind you' which pretty much did it for having your niece and nephew at your party. You may not have noticed, but Deanna grabbed the kids and pushed them into another room, right after that classy moment. Then my daughter asked what your boyfriend meant with his allegory about smoking and why he called you "girl." My daughter is advanced for her age, but she is not advanced enough to know what your friends were doing. Deanna was in a rage, which means she was hissing a lot. She said, "When we move, Mike, we are definitely not taking April to live with us as a babysitter." Then she said, "Oops. Forget I said anything about that." Having a mind like a steel trap, of course, I couldn't forget she said that.

    When I told you about Mom and Dad's unusual dancing and screaming "WE DID IT!", it didn't click in my head. But now that I think about it, there might be a reason why mom and dad seem to think that their parenting years are over.

    Then I saw mom and dad looking at this brochure called, "Independent Living." They said Duncan Anderson dropped it when he was in the house, but now I am beginning to wonder. When mom and dad weren't looking, I glanced at it, and this is what I remember it said:

    Independent Living

    By law, you can live independently after 16 but not before. Independent living means that you live outside of a CAS foster home or group home. This could be in a rooming house or an apartment that you rent in the community. Bear in mind, Ontario's social assistance program involves an unconstitutional denial of social assistance to most applicants under 18. The exception involves those who can prove special circumstances involving withdrawal from parental control due to no fault of their own such as due to child abuse.

    That made really wonder about what Deanna said and what mom and dad said and danced about. If it had been your plan to move in with us as a babysitter, when we got a house, you might want to do something to mollify Deanna.

    Michael Patterson

  • At 9:19 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    mike, i didn't know a thing abt a plan 4 me 2 live w/u and dee and the kids "as a babysitter." i can't help thinking mom and dad were plotting 2 get rid of me, tho. and no, i'm not gonna talk 2 dee. i'll talk 2 dunc abt getting our own place in to, tho.


  • At 11:48 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, have u tried ur b-day present, the ronco pun-preventer, yet? i wuz wonderin' how it wud work w/ur fam.


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