Almost as bad as getting married?!

Whee, Ger an' I have our special d8 @ Très Chère 2nite!

L8 last nite, Mike posted sum stuff abt a recent convo he had w/Dad an' Dee:

April,

Formerly little sis. You may recollect from my monthly letter for this month, I said I trusted the logic that passes between my wife and my father at the dinner table when it comes to purchasing a house and taking on a mortgage. Well, it did finally occur to my wife and my father, that perhaps some of that logic should be passed to me. I think the moment occurred when my wife and father said I would need to be present for signing papers for home mortgages and home purchases, and I responded, “Why? I trust you!”

Shortly thereafter, I was invited to the dinner table with my lovely wife Deanna and my father wearing a sweater and a shirt with rolled up sleeves. I thought, “Both a sweater and a shirt rolled up. I wonder why he didn’t just take the sweater off, if he was so hot.” This of course, was not the message. My father showed me a bunch of papers and he pointed at the numbers on them. Deanna also had a lovely presentation where she took a shorter piece of paper to emphasize and conceal the points she was making. I think I would have felt better about it, had Deanna’s presentation not had little pithy statements like “House = Good”, “Apartment = Bad”, “Living With Mom = Bad”, “Wife Needs Own House to be Happy” and things along those lines. I really thought it was overdone. I used to have to manage a budget at Portrait Magazine after all. So, I positioned my chin in my hand, and lodged my elbow on the table to hold up my chin and head in order to keep from passing out from boredom.

Finally dad seemed to be finishing up when he summarized, “So, with what you have in the bank, plus the money Dee’s parents have offered you—the advance on your book, and some help from us…--I think you could easily afford to buy a house in this neighborhood.” I was following him until he said the States spelling of neighbourhood. Then I got confused. Sharon Park Lane is not in the United States. Not only that but the Stibbs’ house for sale in this neighbourhood is too small for us. And since when has dad been calling Deanna, “Dee”? And why won’t dad ever tell us how much he and mom are contributing instead of always saying “some help”? My lovely Deanna mistook my confusion for worry. She said, “Don’t look so worried! We’ve done the math!” Frankly after the presentation I sat through, they had not only done the math, but wined and dined it and raised a family with it as well.

Then Deanna gave me that same old excuse she has been using for the last 4 months about why we can’t get a new apartment. She said, “Besides, the cost of renting an apartment, even THIS close to Toronto, would…” I cut her off with an “I know, I know.” because I didn’t want to hear this tired excuse again. The truth of the matter is that we could have gotten a new apartment, but not one which Deanna wanted. Even though we lived with 2 bedrooms in Lovey Saltzman’s apartment building, Deanna wanted 4 bedrooms; which essentially doubled the price of the apartment rent we were used to paying. Not only that, but she insisted we could not move to an apartment of any smaller size than that. I didn’t think getting a separate sewing room was that important, but once you have had your children sleeping in someone else’s sewing room, it opens your eyes to things…like sewing.

I tried to tell my lovely Deanna and my father why I was concerned. I said, “It’s just that buying a house is such a huge decision. It’s a life-changing commitment….” Then my mind wandered, trying to think of all the big decisions I had made in my life. There was my job offer for my Portrait Magazine job. Did I take it or did I go into debt? That was not really much of a choice. Then I thought about the last time we chose a place to live. But Lovey Saltzman’s apartments were pointed out to us by Josef Weeder, and the deal for living there was very good. So that was not really much of a choice either. Then I thought back to 2001, my marriage year. I saw my lovely bride-to-be, as she insisted we live together, but not in sin, so we had to have a marriage performed before she moved in with me. Then after having done that, we had the large showy wedding, only for the purpose of allowing Deanna’s mom to fulfill her dream of having a daughter get married with a showy wedding. My decision to go along with 2 weddings. Now that was a really huge decision and a life-changing commitment. Most guys only have to do 1 wedding when they get married, but I had 2, and I have to lie through my teeth every time I talked to the Sobinskis about my wedding. After my mind had wandered, I had found the perfect example to compare to home purchase, and I said, “it’s…almost as bad as getting married!!”

Of course the minute I said it, I knew it didn’t come out right, mainly because I included the word “bad” in the same sentence as “getting married.” Deanna was pretty upset with me, and dad simply put his head down and cowered. I tried to explain I meant the two weddings thing, but it didn’t help. After a long period of hissing, Deanna did finally calm down. Dad took me aside and said to me, “Son. You can expect to hear that phrase repeated over and over to you until the day you die.” He was very encouraging.

So, if you were wondering why Deanna was in that mood, it was because we are going to be homeowners. Some day. If a house in this neighbourhood ever opens up for sale.

Love,
Michael Patterson

Ouch, Mike! Bad, bad choice of words. BTW, since U bring up the st8's spelling of "neighbourhood," how come U wrote "check" insteada "cheque" in yr monthly letter, while still writing "neighbourhood"? I thot that was kinda strange. Oh, and I just saw Dad wearing a shirt, jacket, AND down jacket w/the sleeves all rolled up and, like, fanning himself. Do men get hot flashes an' menopause?

Ape