April's Real Blog

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Thérèse: a promise and an au revoir

Loox as tho Liz has prolly reached the end of the Thérèse bit of her story (unless Monday's gonna B her sharing w/Anthony what she an' Thérèse talked about @ the food ct):

Well, as it turns out, Therese may be French but she does have some common sense and good manners, once we were done drinking our French drinks, we went out into the mall and Therese apologized to me for coming to Milborough to shop, then she said she hoped this would never happen, well, Therese was trying to leave but Frenchy was yanking on her nice clothes, yelling "Mama!", God, what a brat, so Therese told her to can it, that she had stuff to do an' she was gonna go now, an' she'd call sometime, an' they'd talk, well, as Therese went down the escalator, Frenchy yelled, "You promise?" and Therese said, "I promise," but we all knew she was a big fat liar, because she is a terrible mother who abandoned her child, well, just then Anthony came walking up, but Frenchy grabbed on to ME and hugged ME and started bawling into MY frumpy car coat, well I thought to myself, it is about time, and I hugged her and thought to myself how Frenchy finally realized that she should be grateful for her Patterson stepmom to be, because even though I am not her real mother, and I don't like her, I am HERE, and because I am a Patterson I know my duty is to grudgingly parent her even though I didn't really want her, like all proper Patterson mothers do with their oops babies and such, anyway, it was a very exciting turn of events, because it means stuff like:

1. this whole week isn't gonna be about Therese,

2. Frenchy is finally gonna stop being so annoying, and

3. I could still get engaged by the end of this story, or at least pre-engaged, you know, like if Anthony is so grateful that he buys me a blender or other future wife type gift for Christmas,

well that's all I guess, I'm sure you will be pleased to learn of how Therese got run out of town just like the sign at the edge of city limits promises we will do.

Poor Françoise. Look @ her parental choices. Her mother's 2 bizzy 4 her, her father is only interested in landing himself wife #2, and Liz is only interested in being wife #2 an' getting rid of Francie as fast as she can.

NEway, Jeremy, I dont' mind abt U posting that convo betw me an' my mom. I M just glad it did the trick in getting her 2 leave. I was v. embarrassed that she 8 all the food yr mom made 4 everybody. Good thinking 2 order pizza. And yay, Leafs!

Hey, and wanna come over this afternoon? Let's get our h'work dun and then play Sims! I figured out howta get the Sims 2 blog and design computer gamez. It's pretty cube. I have a Sim whose blog is more popular than mine, which is kinda humbling, eh?


Labels: , , ,


  • At 9:57 AM, Anonymous DreadedCandiru2 said…

    Contrary to your parent's and older sibling's opinion, you don't get a gold star just for showing up. She may think she's won out over her rival but, in the long run, all her attempts to convince herself that she's happy will only serve to make her more pathetic.

  • At 2:24 PM, Anonymous liz patterson said…

    Well, I talked to Mom today, she kind of smashed my dream, she told me that the Good Witch of the North heard about my boarding school plans, and she said no to them, she said, "A wonderful stepparent is one who agrees with great reluctance to take on the rotten little brat so that he or she can get married to their dream person! Besides, if you do your duty and take on your bratty stepchild, your spouse might become fabulously wealthy as your reward!", so Mom says no boarding school, I have to put up with Frenchy at home and pretend to like her, which I guess I can do, I mean, I've kind of been promised fabulous wealth in exchange, plus, it's the Patterson way.


  • At 6:32 PM, Anonymous Thérèse said…


    I have a lot to do, so I will not be able to tell you everything which happened between me and your sister and my daughter Françoise at the chocolate restaurant. But I will make une promesse to you that if your sister starts to tell a story about what we talked about, then I will also tell my side of that story.

    Once we were done drinking our boissons de chocolat chaud, your sister mentioned something about how she had to meet my ex-husband (and she hinted her future husband) Anthony. It is no surprise pour moi, this was her plan after all the flirting she and Anthony did when I was married to him. So, we got up to leave. I said my adieux to Françoise.

    Françoise was not ready to let me go. When Elizabeth reached for her hand, Françoise grabbed my arm and said, “Mama!” again. As much as I may dislike Elizabeth for her part in destroying my marriage, I have une peu de sympathie for her. She is going to marry Anthony and live in that old rundown house Anthony got from Gordon Mayes. She will find out, as I did, all the things about my ex-husband which make him a terrible husband, an awful father, and not much of a human being. The only bon thing in that life will be my daughter, and it will hard for Elizabeth to spend her life in torment with Anthony knowing that the only good part of it, Françoise, prefers someone like me, a very poor parent at best, to her. April, I could have avoided this whole situation, by only shopping in the places where I usually shop, and judging from the way your sister dresses, she never shops. There was a sale at the mall, and I wanted to go there. I knew there would be a chance we might run into each other. I decided to risque it, and it didn’t work out. So I said, “I’m sorry, Elizabeth. I shouldn’t have come here to shop. I hoped this would never happen.”

    I kneeled down to Françoise, and took her by her shoulders and said, “I have a lot to do, Françoise. I’m going to leave now. You go with Elizabeth, and I’ll call you, OK? I’ll call, and we’ll visit sometime.” I had to tell Françoise something. I realize now I just can’t leave it to my ex-husband Anthony to set up a time, or he never will, and then Françoise will be the one who suffers. Françoise seemed to accept that; but when I got to the escalators, she came running over to them with Elizabeth chasing after her. She said, “You promise?!!” I said, “I promise” and turned my body to her to say it. Françoise said she hates when some people talk to her over their shoulders as they walk away.

    I thought that would be it; but then I heard crying again. I looked up and there was Elizabeth on the floor with Françoise and Françoise’s coat tangled between their legs. I couldn’t tell if Elizabeth had run into Françoise and knocked her down, or if Elizabeth was comforting Françoise. I thought about going back to help out, but then I saw my ex-husband Anthony was there, looking down the escalator at me and he marmonnait ses menaces. It was time to leave. I am no match for Anthony, in more ways than one.

    That is the whole story. Remember, I may write about the chocolate restaurant later.

    Au revoir,

  • At 6:46 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, u know i remembah a similar sitch like wut happed 2 ur sis, xxcept of course in my sitch my dad wuz gonna take me on one of hiz trips (which wuz usually 2 bars, brothels or country musick concerts) & i didn’t wanna go. i wuz cryin’ & cryin’ how i didn’t wanna go, so i can kinda unnerstand why françoise wudn’t wanna be w/anthony caine & ur sis. u know if sum1 were 2 come up 2 me 2day & say, “jeremy. u have ur choice. u can go w/ur dad 2 wherever he’s gonna go or u can go have fun w/liz patterson & anthony caine. i gotta say, wen i put thingz like that, my dad & hiz alcoholic friends seem a whole lot more appealin’.

    ok. i am not gettin’ this sim stuff. i have tried makin’ a sim of me, & this lightnin’ strikin’ him ovah & ovah again is startin’ 2 weird me out. & wen he duz kiss #92 w/ur sim, he duz it bettern’n me. his hands nevah get caught in ur hair clip.

  • At 7:10 PM, Anonymous michael patterson said…


    Slightly older little sis. It is unfortunate that the Good Witch of the North has voted against your boarding school plans. Frankly, the little half-Quebecoise girl who was slobbering on your coat (By the way, you should get your coat cleaned. It is beginning to smell from all the things your cat and the half-Quebecoise girl have left on it), needs the kind of education only a half-Quebecoise teacher can give her. Fabulous wealth is a nice thing to have, particularly when after you get it, you can still find a way to be poor. However, you should not let the promise of fabulous wealth undermine your obligation to make sure she is properly educated in the ways of her culture, and someday become one of those people who are are continually trying to make the Québécois into its own separate nation and in the meantime serving poutine to the masses to fund their political efforts. Perhaps dad might even finance her one day to open up her own poutine shop. Milborough needs one of those.

    However, there is an upside to this situation. No doubt, Anthony Caine, having see you endure the ministrations of both his ex-wife and her daughter; may take pity upon you and hand you a ring soon. Rumours are over from Gordon, that Anthony was seen holding up his old engagement ring with from his marriage to his ex-wife and yelling obscenities. That has to be a good sign for your marriage.

    Michael Patterson

  • At 7:25 PM, Blogger howard said…


    This may seem like a completely unrelated subject, but did you hear about the malfunctioning escalators at the Milborough Mall? Apparently, one moment it looks like you are going down the escalator, and the very next moment is looks like you are walking up an incline to get to an escalator, even though you are actually looking down the escalator. Quite a few people were hurt on it and the escalator repair person was called in. Apparently the problem ended up being that the last person who worked in the escalator had an extremely poor sense of perspective.

    I know it’s supposed to be repaired now, but I am going to be careful around escalators in Milborough. You can never tell how many escalators that person with the poor perspective touched in town.

    Howard Bunt

  • At 8:11 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    poor françoise. it soundz like the best she can hope 4 is a stepmother who grudgingly toler8s her.

    thérèse, i can def understand wanting 2 get away fr the sight of anthony. he has that effect on me, and i've never even been married 2 him!

    jeremy, i dunno y yr sim gets struck by lightning. that never happs 2 ne of the other sims. they just do stuff like get a job as a hand model, security job, or campaign worker, socialize w/ea other, buy stuff, play games, eat, shower, use the bathroom, and sleep. it soundz kinda dull, but it's v. addictive 4 sum reason.

    howard, how scary. thanx 4 telling me abt that. i will use the stairs if i go 2 the mboro mall.


  • At 1:09 AM, Anonymous michael patterson said…


    Formerly little sis. One of the nice things about the Christmas holidays is the opportunity to look at your children playing with their toys and then to remember back to the days when you were the same age that they were anddddd…….

    OK! Deanna just slapped me because I let my son open one of his presents early. I know he is old enough to understand the presents are opened on Christmas Day. I know he is not supposed to be allowed to open them before Christmas. I remember what happened last Christmas when he got to open his presents early and he was weeping over every one that got burned in the fire and if he hadn’t opened them, then he wouldn’t know what they were to weep over them. Jeez. It’s just one toyyyyy.

    OK. Deanna read that last bit and slapped me again. Cheeze. Just because I am kept man, doesn’t mean I have to be a slapped man. Where was I? Oh, yes.

    I was looking at my son looking at his new toy airplane, the one with the odd colourings on it and where the wings weren’t placed on the plane properly. For some reason the wings were just glued on top of the place where the pilot sits and they weren’t even with the rest of the plane and there were no wheels where you could stand the plane when you weren’t playing with it, and who bought this piece of junk anyway? My mom never would have bought me a plane thisssssss

    OK. I should be grateful that my wonderful, beautiful wife thought to buy my son a plane at all, since I didn’t buy any Christmas presents and I didn’t decorate the tree. The tree is decorated with a few red things and with those ugly green stars, with the ugliest green star on top. Who decorates with ugly green stars? Did we get this tree from the Grinch who stole Christmas? Look at it. Its just hidddd

    OK. It’s a wonderful tree decorated by a wonderful woman who is the breadwinner in the house and I better not forget it. I got it. Let’s see. I was looking at my son playing with this terrific plane and it reminded me of how I had a plane when I was about his age. I used to play with my plane too, except without the demented look on my face and the tongue lolling out of my mouth with the drool and how did my son get to be so fffffff

    OK. I am sick and tired of being smacked. I am just going to talk about myself now. I had a plane. It was from Philpott Department Store. It was a great little store with well-constructed planes that had wings and wheels and only one primary colour, just the way I like them. I was standing by mother looking at the toy. But then I realized, if I put the toy in my Philpott Department Store bag, the other things in the bag might crush it. So, I had to hold the toy out of the bag, and carry the bag and the stuff in it separately. This bag was stuffed and heavy and I needed two hands to hold it; but I had to have one hand holding the toy airplane, eh?

    So, I said, “Ma? Do we have much farther to go, mom?” I was little in those days, and all I could see was my mother from the bottom down. She had on a green jacket with a big belt and black pants. She didn’t answer me.

    So, I said, “I’ve been walking an’ walking…an’ I don’t wanna carry this any more!” Well, then mom walked away from me; but then she said, “You wanted that toy, Michael…the least you can do is carry it.” Well I tried to do that for awhile, but the department store bag kept getting heavier and heavier and it was hurting my fingers.

    So, I said, “I don’t wanna carry it, mom…you carry it…YOU carry it!!! “ Well mom does not respond well to demands, and she doesn’t respond well to demands which are repeated twice without a proper period between them. So, she said in her own inimitable way, “NO!” You know the kind of “NO!” which is so loud it makes you drop your department store bag and the toy and causes your body to vibrate all over and the blood rush to your head so it makes your whole face red? That kind of loud. Well I wasn’t going to take this any more, so I yelled back at her “MEANY!

    Then something happened which was kind of confusing. I could have sworn when I was just looking at my mother, I could see the belt on her green shirt clearly all the way around. This time when I looked, she had Lizzie strapped on her back wearing a pink bonnet, and she was carrying two bags of groceries and she had a purse on her right arm. I thought to myself, “How did I miss that before?”

    But then I thought more carefully. People don’t carry groceries around the middle of the bag, like mom was; because it rips the bag and squeezes the bread flat. Mom would hold the bags from the bottom. Plus, two full bags of groceries are heavy. Mom would use a cart, instead of taking a long walk with two heavy bags. But then I thought, why would I be carrying around a bag from Philpott Department Store and my airplane, if we were in a grocer? Not only that, but Lizzie doesn’t wear a pink bonnet when we go grocery shopping, or really any time. It didn’t make any sense, like a scene drawn by someone trying to look pitiful but without thinking through it very carefully. Then I looked at the person clearly and she had enormous eyes, like some kind of toad. Then I had to apologize for yelling “MEANY!” at the toad lady. I think the whole thing was some kind of dream. That’s only way I can make sense out of it.

    Now what did this have to do with my son and his airplane? I have lost my entire train of thought. Oh, wait. I should say I have lost my entire “airplane” of thought.

    Well, Merry Christmas everyone! Deanna says it’s not until next week, but why wait?

    Michael Patterson


Post a Comment

<< Home