April's Real Blog

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Francie's Playlife

As U prolly R already xxpecting, Liz has sent me another e-mail abt her visit w/Anthony and Françoise, like 3 wks ago, when Liz and Anthony might have gotten engaged:

Still me! I know U can hardly wait to know what happened next, after I held Frenchy on my lap and thought that stuff about how imagination can never be too sweet. Well, Frenchy had me helping her make pretend cookies at her toy kitchen. I didn't really want to, but I had a feeling that Anthony would come in and I wanted him to be charmed at my whole "good with kids" thing.

So, I was right. Anthony came in and said, "Well!--How's the tea party?" And Frenchy said, "Fine!--We made cookies. Do you want one?" Anthony sat down on the floor and without answering, he pretended to eat the pretend cookies, saying, "Mmm... Delicious! Chocolate chip, right?" Frenchy, standing next to her tiny kitchenette, said, "Uh-huh! We're pretending this is a real kitchen!"

Then she went to her dollhouse and told Anthony, "You can pretend you're making a fire in the fireplace, OK?" She was holding a baby doll, and also said, "An' after I put the baby to bed, we can watch TV!" I wondered if this was Frenchy's way of telling us that on the evenings when I visit, she knows that Anthony and I watch TV after he puts her to bed. And how would she know this unless she sneaks out of her room and snoops on us? I'm going to have to secure her room better after I marry Anthony.

Anyway, after Frenchy had put her babydoll to bed, we all sat in the middle of the room and went into silhouette. It was a little bit painful and random. Anthony said, "This is very nice, Francie! Thanks for inviting us to your house!" And Frenchy said, "...Daddy?" Then we stopped being in silhouette and Frenchy said, "...Let's pretend we're a family!" And Anthony and I used that as a reason to look at each other with our schmoopy faces.

It's like we're a family already! We don't even have to pretend! Or at least that's what I'm putting in the little brochure I'm printing up at school and giving to Anthony so he won't forget to marry me.

Liz, Liz, Liz! U sed U're Francie's friend. And now she's gonna xxpect U 2 B her playmate. And then when U marry her dad, she's gonna wonder if he marries ALL her friends. Poor kid, better 2 just xxplain things how they R in the 1st place.


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  • At 9:40 AM, Anonymous michael patterson said…


    Formerly little sis. Elizabeth’s story today is unfortunately giving us an insight in the strange and bizarre lives of the Quebecois. Sitting down and playing with your children, making fires in the fireplace, and watching television after dinner? This sounds so much like something my in-laws would do when they come over to visit. I wonder if the Quebecois are in some way related to the Polish.

    Thank goodness, you and I have mom as an example of proper behaviour, or we wouldn’t know the right way to do things. After all, Elizabeth, Anthony and their little half-Quebecoise girl are at a tea party and not once has anyone hurled a tea cup at anyone’s head. If mom were there, she would straighten things out.

    Michael Patterson

  • At 10:11 AM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, i think our homework went pretty well on makin’ our list of thingz we wunt in a spouse & comparin’ them. there were a couple of thingz we didn’t agree on, but i think we have sum good compromises. like, 4 example, the 1 where my desire in a spouse wuz not 2 have ur mom 4 an in-law. i think the compromise of not livin’ newhere near ur mom iz a good 1.

    i ran n2 gerald (or rather i shud say he tracked me down 2 show off hiz new gf). he sed 2 me, “jeremy, this is…” i sed, “ok. wut country this tyme?” gerald sed, “sweden.” i sed 2 her, “wut’s ur name?” she sed, “my name iz ulla inka hanson benson yanson tallen hallen swadon swanson.” i sed, “wut’s ur 1st name?” she sed, “oh that wuz my 1st name. wud u like 2 hear my last name?” i sed, “i don’t have the tyme.”

    i sed 2 gerald, “wut happed 2 lumturie rexha, ur albanian gf frum yesterday?” gerald sed, “we did our homework lists on thingz we wunted in a spouse.” i sed, “and…?” gerald sed, “we agreed on everythin’ i wunted in a spouse includin’ the colours 4 the bridesmaid dresses in our wedding. everythin’ xxcept i wunted 2 live mboro & she wunted 2 live sumplace that wuz not mboro.” i sed, “so u both realized that this wud cause problemz?” gerald sed, “no. i know lotsa peeps who live in places they don’t wanna live 4 for decades.” i sed, “wut do they do 2 cope?” gerald sed, “they usually cheat on their spouse.” i sed, “& wen u sed this 2 lumturie, is this wen u & her broke up?” gerald sed, “no. it wuz wen she told me that she was albanian meanin’ frum albany, new york, and not frum albania the country. that subtle difference in pronouncin’ the initial ‘a’ sound wuz 2 much 4 me.” i sed, “oh. i unnerstand. altho i rilly didn’t.”

  • At 1:14 PM, Blogger howard said…


    Today’s story from your sister, Elizabeth was quite heart-warming. It reminded me of the days when I play tea party with my daughters Ana and María. Our situations are very similar with a few minor exceptions. For example, instead of making pretend cookies, I take the girls into the kitchen and make real ones. The girls can roll out the dough and make the cookies into individual shapes and decorate them and have been able to do so since they were very young. There is nothing like the taste of a fresh-baked cookie when you’ve made it yourself. That is similar to what your sister was doing, but just a little different. Other than that everything was pretty much the same.

    I guess there is another difference. When it comes to tea, the girls and I make real tea. I know getting young girls around boiling water and the like is not safe, but even since they were very young, they have been able to fill a tea ball with their favourite tea. Then we can eat cookies and drink tea using the tea set with parental supervision and the girls get some experience in proper tea party etiquette. That is similar to what your sister was doing, but just a little different. Other than that everything was pretty much the same.

    I guess there is another difference. When it comes to making a fire in the fireplace, the girls and I make a real fire. I carry the heavy logs, but the girls have been strong enough to carry kindling to help start the fire since they have been very young. They don’t get their fingers near the flame to start the fire, but they know all about the proper placement of wood and kindling before you light the kindling to get a fire started. Then we can eat cookies and drink tea and sit in front of a fire. That is similar to what your sister was doing, but just a little different. Other than that everything was pretty much the same.

    I guess there is another difference. After we put the kids to bed, my wife Beatrice and I don’t usually watch television.

    Other than that everything was pretty much the same.

    Howard Bunt

  • At 1:44 PM, Anonymous lumturie rexha said…

    It's been such an emotionally trying time! First Gerald dumps me just because he can't pronounce "Albanian" properly. Then my family members who still live in Albany, New York tell me that New York's new governor is named "Paterson" but that it's pronounced the same as "Patterson." Crazy!


  • At 5:54 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, well that wuz an innerestin’ class, that iz our required contract law class for r.p. boire students who r couples.

    i got 2 find out that duncan anderson’s silhouette & eva abuya both wunt spouses who like dramatic b&w colour changes. i got 2 find out gerald & his new gf ulla inka hanson benson yanson tallen hallen swadon swanson both wunt spouses who r blonde & have big chests. (u kept ur cool durin’ that 1. u only sed, “thass not wut u told me wen we were d8in’” only 3, mayb 4 tymez @the most, & it wuzn’t v. loud @all, no matter wut the teach sed.) i got 2 find out that luis guzmán & his gf rosario both wunt spouses who have suffered az refugees have. duncan anderson’s silhouette did not keep hiz cool w/that 1. i think it wuz cuz luis wuz lookin’ @eva abuya & not @rosario wen he sed it. & then lumturie rexha & her new bf gerald jennings (not delaney-forsythe) sed they both wunted a spouse who cud pronounce “albanian” az if it wuz frum albany, n.y. i thot it wuz a little freaky she hooked up so fast w/anothah guy named gerald, eh?

    then i definitely did not feel grown up wen the teach brought little dollhouses & sed we hadda pretend 2b a family & come up w/the division of labour in our house, like it wud b in a contract. the instructionz sed 2 go thru the list of chorez & decide who wuz gonna do the work. it wuz weird that the recommended division had the girl doin’ everythin’ xxcept 4 “setting up model train displays”. evn weirder wuz when the 1st tyme thru u kinda checked everythin’ 4u2 do xxcept 4 “setting up model train displays”. i didn’t wanna b rude, but i hadda kinda say i cud prolly do some of thoze things, like mebbe ½ or more, cuz thass wut i do ‘round my house. & u gave me a strange look. then wen the teach came ovah 2 kinda pull u off of me & sed, “wut iz the problem miss patterson? this iz not a class ‘bout couples & lust, this is a class ‘bout couples & contract law.” so, we hadda cover fast & say were consultin’ 2gethah ‘bout sum of the strange thingz on the list like:

    shaving sheets
    storing valuable keepsakes in crawl space to be discovered by the next owner
    vacuuming up rabbit bedding instead of putting it back in rabbit cage
    placement of the book stone season in place of prominence in living room
    washing dishes by hand instead of using dishwasher
    placement of leftovers in fridge in easy access area for children & grandchildren
    placement of recycling items to show off to neighbours

    so neway. aftah ur done workin’ in lilliput’s 2nite, if u wanna do sum more “consultin’”, i think we can find sum place private & i will tell u all ‘bout how my techniques 4 cleaning stovetops & spot cleaning walls.

  • At 9:31 PM, Anonymous Jerry Jennings said…

    Hello, April Patterson. It was nice meeting you at the R.P. Boire Secondary School. I'm not sure what possessed me to get into my car, drive up to Milborough, Ontario, and start hitting on the lovely Lumturie Rexha. But next thing I knew she was saying I'm her boyfriend and that I had to take this class with her at the secondary school!

    Later, I got a call on my cell, and my counsel advised me that the last thing Albany needs right now is another scandal and that I'd better get right back into my car and come home.

    So unfortunately I have to go. If any of you are ever in Albany, NY, give me a call!

    Jerry Jennings


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