April's Real Blog

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Reminder that Mom's all done w/me

It seems that removing the sleeves of the not-Marian dress became deconstructing the whole thing and remaking it. As Dee was cutting fabric, she was telling Liz, "Yr Mom has been so good 2 us, Liz. She takes the kids all the time. I don't know what we'd do w/out her!" As she fit the remade bodice around Liz's 4shortened torso, Dee went on w/"Michael's @ home most days, but he's not a househusband. He needs time alone 4 his writing... And I work 5 days a week." W8, Merrie's in school and Robin's in daycare @ Merrie's school. Mike can't be alone w/the kids 4 a couple of hrs ea afternoon evening, in the time between the bus arriving and Dee returning from work?!?!?!

NEway, Dee hunched over her sewing machine and went, "We try 2 B independent, but we've really needed the extra help." Liz sed, "Yeah... I hope Mom won't mind doing sum baby-sitting 4 us, 2!" Really? What happened 2 Anthony's mother?

Liz went over 2 our TTH 2 ask Mom abt this, and Mom sez her thot was, "But... I've already RAISED my children!" When Mom told me this, I kinda glared @ her, and she went, "WHAT?" Then, "Oh. Right. You. Well, U know, in the olden days, U'd B married and having yr 2nd child by now!" I sed, "It's not the olden days!" And Mom sez, "I live in a fantasy bubble!" I sed, "True enuf."

Dunc, I M on my way over 2 yr house 2 stop U from taking the GO train. U have no idea how much I had 2 argue w/the principal 2 get yr xxam rescheduled. U R NOT leaving! (But yeah, Mom totally 4got me again.)


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  • At 10:34 AM, Anonymous Duncan Anderson's silhouette said…


    Word has reached my blackened-in ears that my real counterpart is screwing up again. After all the work I went through to repair my academic reputation. Tell him to straighten up or I may have to come back to Milborough to straighten him up -- silhouette style.

    Duncan Anderson's silhouette

  • At 10:47 AM, Anonymous michael patterson said…


    Formerly little sis. How I remember that conversation between my wife Deanna and Elizabeth while they were fixing the "heirloom" dress. I walked in shortly after Deanna said, "I don't know what we'd do without her." and said, "Absolutely right, slightly older little sis, we need Mom more than you do, because I am busy writing novel #4." At least that was what I was going to say until I realized that my lovely wife Deanna was topless. Instead I said something like, "Aack! Topless sewing?"

    Then Deanna said something about how she wasn't topless, it was just because her shirt's sleeveless armhole got mysteriously larger for some reason. Then she said it was all right because the shadow from her arm covered her topless bits. Then she said it was only fair that she go topless because Elizabeth was going to have to go topless to try on the next piece of the dress to fit, and she didn't want Elizabeth to feel uncomfortable being the only one topless in the room. Then Elizabeth popped off her shirt and then I had to leave the room and sit down to get control of my breathing before I passed out. There are some things a brother and husband just shouldn't see. Or think about. In fact I am getting a little faint now. Hold on.

    Better now. I should just be satisfied that my children were over at mom's house when this happened, or they might have been traumatized. By the way, you don't go topless around Deanna, do you, formerly little sis?

    Michael Patterson

  • At 11:06 AM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, i guess this xxplains y we found ur nephew & niece playin' in ur bedroom wen we got home frum skool yestahday. just lucky they didn't destroy ur guitar, altho i am not sure ur nephew didn't eat one of ur picks.

    ok. while ur runnin' 'round tryin' 2 help duncan anderson (altho he definitely duz not deserve it, imho), i moved mosta ur breakablez & "unmentionablez" u showed me ovah @my house now. it wuz kinda weird wen mom found sum of ur girly stuff in my room & sed, "iz there sumthin' u wanna tell me?" & i sed, "yeah. elly patterson iz takin' care of her grandchildren 5 dayz a week & they get n2 april's stuff, so she's keepin' it ovah here 'till we get her basement apartment finished." & of course mom sez, "wut makes u think thoze kids won't get n2 the basement apartment?" & i realized she wuz rite. wut's worse iz i think ur mom agreed 2 start takin' care of little fran├žoise 2, & i know she is smart enuff 2 get past a locked door.

    i asked mom if u cud start livin' ovah here & mom sed, "elly patterson needz 2 learn 2 say 'no' 2 kids gettin' in her daughter's room." so mom called up ur mom & i guess u know wut ur mom sed. "but... i've already RAISED my children!" mom is kinda shaken by all this, cuz there wuz a tyme wen she thot ur mom wuz the best mom in mboro. neway, mom sed u can move n netime u wunt. she sed u can have my room, & i can move my stuff 2 the basement. my mom iz convinced ur mom will nevah evn notice ur gone. so, if ur innerested, the offer iz open.

  • At 11:23 AM, Blogger howard said…


    Beatrice just told me that your mother is opening a daycare in your home. Supposedly with your mother's reputation as being the best mother in Milborough, all the spots will soon be taken. I know you mentioned that your niece, nephew and future niece have spots already. Do you know how many more spots are available? Beatrice has some friends with kids, who are interested, even though I think they are crazy to consider leaving their kids with your mom.

    The weird part about it is that Beatrice was really disappointed that our daughters were too old to do daycare with your mother. I was shocked. I told Beatrice that after all things she knows about your mother and her parenting (the Kortney Krelbutz thing with you especially), how could she want to inflict that on our children. And Beatrice replied that it was a well-established fact that people consider most of how you are treated by your mother as being your own fault as an ill-tempered teenager, and that your mother is considered by many to be one of the best mothers of all time. I couldn't believe this came out of my own wife who worked for your mother. I said, "You've been drinking coffee with her, haven't you?" Beatrice looked suddenly guilty and said, "Just a few cups."

    I may have to schedule an intervention. Good luck with the daycare in your house.

    Howard Bunt

  • At 1:32 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    duncan's silhouette, i got 2 the go station in time and convinced dunc 2 go back 2 the school and sit 4 2day's xxam. he was shocked 2 realize he knew the material really well. i think what happed is that he actually studied when he was hopped up on dbl-dbls, but it went in2 his brain in a weird way, causing him 2 not realize he knew what he knew!

    mike, ew, no, i m never topless around dee!

    jeremy, big thanx 2 u and yr mom! i'll move sum more stuff this afternoon, b4 my yoga class. i think it's true that my mom will not notice.

    howard, i'm sorry, but i don't know nething abt my mom setting up a daycare, let alone how many spots r available. since mom keeps 4getting that she's not dun raising me, she tends not 2 tell me things unless i seek her out.



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