April's Real Blog

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Now I'm Dad's "One 2 Go"?!?!

Do U ever get the distinct impression yr parents have been trying 2 get rid of U? I guess it shdn't B news 4 me, mine have had times when they even 4get they have a 3rd kid, and R all patting themselves on the back that "both" of their kids have reached adulthood and everything. (Tho there R ppl who argue on what kind of "adults" they R.)

So, Dad didn't get the news abt Liz an' Anthony's engagement until supper of that day those 2 came by and told Mom. I didn't eat w/them cuz Jeremy and I had already eaten our dinner @ the Garden of Eden restaurant. Mom and Dad were serving themselves from the stove, buffet style. Mom kinda told Dad in passing that Liz and Anthony had come by 2 announce their engagement. Then, as Mom was abt 2 sit w/her plate and Dad was standing @ the stove having loaded up his, Dad sed, "That's gr8 news, hon. --I think Elizabeth's made a wise choice." "Elizabeth's made a wise choice"? What R U talking abt, marriage or mutual funds?

Dad sat down, and he started 2 feed himself w/his eyes closed. He thinx that's more of a challenge than keeping his eyes open. Mom sed, "Married. Sigh. I'm afraid I'm going 2 cry @ the ceremony. I did @ Michael's wedding. I know it's just a tradition, a formality... the real moment of truth is when the actual decision is made. But... seeing yr children walk down the aisle and take those vows gives U an overwhelming sense of pride and accomplishment, doesn't it, John." That was a st8ment, not a question. And Y wd THAT give a parent a sense of pride and accomplishment? I mean, I can understand having that feeling at graduations and award ceremonies, but weddings? I can C b-ing emotional that yr kid has found a loving partner who wants to make a public declaration of commitment and all, but Y "pride and accomplishment"?

NEway, as I was walking by, blowing a bubble even tho my mouth had temporarily disappeared, and texting a message 2 Jeremy while I had headfones on, Dad's answer was, "Uh-huh..." And then with a cheekful of food, like sum friggin' hamster, he added, "...2 down and one 2 go." What the HECK? I haven't even turned SEVENTEEN yet and he's fantasizing abt marrying me off? Y? Does he figure he gets rid of the "burden" of having 2 provide 4 me NEmore? Gah.

Sorry I stopped commenting last nite. After being all mad @ my mom, like Jeremy described, I was reading Maus by Art Spiegelman and lost track of time.


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  • At 12:19 PM, Anonymous James said…

    "Elizabeth's made a wise choice"? What R U talking abt, marriage or mutual funds?


  • At 3:59 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    i don't think liz has made a wise choice in either, but she will probably pummel me 4 saying so!


  • At 4:00 PM, Anonymous Liz Patterson said…

    Wait till I catch you!


  • At 4:01 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    ha, you can try. i'm quicker and stronger than you, ms. allergic to exercise!


  • At 5:19 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, i guess u showed thoze peeps who say a patterson can’t walk & chew gum @the same tyme. u were walkin’, listenin’ 2 musick on ur headfones, textin’ a message, blowin’ a bubble, & all w/ur eyez closed. mebbe next tyme u do that 1 w/o the headfonez cuz u cudn’t hear me wen i wuz yellin’”wall!!” @u. neway, the nurse sed it wuz just a bruise & u didn’t break nethin’, which iz good.

    2day’s exercise in our r.p. boire senior secondary school class on contract marriage wuz anothah weird 1. “in order 2 inform the most peeps of ur engagement @the least expense 2u: uze gossips or busybodies.” then we hadda think of the biggest gossips in mboro az an exercise. i don’t think the teach wuz rilly happ wen u were talkin’ ‘bout how u wud wanna tell the mportant peeps in ur life face-2-face ‘bout how u were engaged. the teach kept on sayin’ that if u tell a town gossip ur news then u don’t hafta worry ‘bout tellin’ ne1 else xxcept the peeps the town gossip h8s. neway u ended up sayin’ u wud tell ur mom & the teach gave u high marks 4 that answer.

    & then aftah the class we went 2 horny t’s & we hadda long talk ‘bout how ur sis hurt ur feelingz cuz she didn’t tell u face-2-face she wuz engaged & just ran off w/anthony back 2 her skool aftah she told ur mom. & then the whole “2 down 1 to go” thing w/ur dad. that wuz a long talk, but i think it’s bettah 2 share ur feelingz & not bury them rilly deep. othahwise u’ll end up like ur mom, who’s sed she wuz afraid she wuz gonna cry @ur sis’ weddin’. just 2 let u know, my mom will prolly cry buckets @my weddin’ ceremony & i don’t think she’z gonna b afraid 2 do it.

  • At 5:43 PM, Anonymous michael patterson said…


    Formerly little sis. You asked the question about why it is that mom would feel a sense of pride and accomplishment for seeing Elizabeth walk down the aisle. I would think the answer to that one would be obvious. She has been trying to get Elizabeth to marry Anthony for almost 10 years now. Our whole family, including the Mayes’, has been trying to get Elizabeth to realize that she should be married to Anthony. Deanna and I took Elizabeth to Mayes Midtown Motors for no other reason than to see Anthony, back when she was having trouble with her boyfriend Eric. And who was it that first gave Elizabeth the idea that her constable boyfriend was cheating? It was I, with my “absence makes the heart wander” line to Liz.

    If anything, with as much work as we have put into getting the Lizardbreath to wise up, I think the whole Patterson family should be crying at Elizabeth’s wedding.

    Michael Patterson

  • At 6:10 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    yeah, i'll b crying @ the wedding while thinking abt how nice paul was.

    jeremy, thanx 4 having that long talk w/me. that really helped. also thanx 4 trying 2 keep me from walking in2 that wall. i hafta pay attention better!


  • At 10:55 PM, Blogger Muzition said…

    According to this site (http://www.niagaraparks.com/can-we-help/marriage_licence.php), you can actually get married at sixteen if you have approval of your parents. But don't tell your father that, or he might get ideas.


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