What's Liz been Tokin'?
Liz is still telling that story of hers from 3 wks ago. Here's her l8est e-mail:
Apes
April,Liz, please just put the words down and stop trying to play with them. Thanks!
I'm taken! I love being taken!
On that night a few weeks back, when Anthony and I discussed getting married and then had a tea party with Frenchy, Anthony had me help him tuck Frenchy in when she went 2 bed in her top bunk. Anthony has heard from a lot of people who say that's not safe for a 3-year-old, and he just says that "child safety" stuff is mostly a bunch of bunk. (Ha, geddit?) Anthony is so wise!
So, where was I? Yes, tucking in Frenchy at bed time. As we stood next to her bed, Anthony said, "Good night, sweetheart." And Frenchy said, "G'night, Daddy and Elizabeth." I didn't say anything. I was too worried about my hairline, which felt like it was receding.
Once we were out in the hallway, I said, "She was pretending we were a family tonight.--That's great!" Anthony said, "Yes. I think everything's going to be fine." Then he put an arm around me and said, "We just can't be in a rush, that's all." My heart sank, but I remembered Mom advising me to play it cool when Anthony says this kind of thing, so I said, "Anthony, I'm not in a hurry to get married. I'm just glad we've talked about it."
Then he turned to face me, putting another arm on me and positioning us like we were going to start square dancing. And he asked, "Should we look for a ring?" I said, "Yes. I'd like that very much." Then I hugged him, and even though my face felt very, very badly drawn, and the hand that Anthony had in the middle of my back felt like a hooky claw, I thought, "A ring!!!--The token that says 'I'm taken'!" Ha, see what I did there? April, make sure Mike sees!
Liz
Apes
Labels: Anthony, Françoise, insta-family, Liz, stoopidity, stupid puns
posted by April Patterson @ 6:23 AM
6 Comments:
At 8:41 AM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Formerly little sis. This is another superb story by our sister illustrating just how masterfully Anthony Caine is wooing our sister. As Liz’s other boyfriends learned the hard way, Elizabeth is like a skittish animal that will run the moment anyone approaches it with kindness and love. Clearly, the esteemed Mr. Caine’s approach is the way to go. At each moment in this story, he makes sure to let Elizabeth know that he is just barely interested enough in her to move on to the next step of being married. And then when he does make a move into the next step, he tests the waters oh, so delicately. “Should we look for a ring?” is a master stroke. Not only is it phrased as if Elizabeth might not want a ring and he is getting her permission, but by using the plural form “we” he has indicated that both of them must participate in the ring-shopping. In other words, no one is going to come at her unbeknownst to her with a ring in a champagne glass in some kind of romantic dinner setting. She is going to see the ring, pick the ring, and maybe even be handed the ring by the jeweler. I can’t wait to hear how it is that Anthony accomplishes that majour milestone without Elizabeth jumping on a bus and moving to China to teach.
The only downside to this story is that Elizabeth has, once again, chosen to make her pun in a thought balloon, instead of saying it out loud. “The token that says, ‘I’m taken’!” is a perfectly reasonable pun, and there is no reason to conceal it from Anthony, or from the world.
Other than that, I cannot be happier with this story, formerly little sis. I think our sister has finally found a man who understands her ways well enough to be able to wend his way along the matrimonial path through the underworld with her. There are few men who have the knowledge and desire to do such a thing, and our sister has finally gotten one.
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 10:05 AM,
Anonymous said…
Hmm...I know your sister has the ability to turn into your brother, I didn't know she could also turn into a balding 40-something man.
Triple-changer!
At 2:12 PM,
Anonymous said…
Michael, you are so stupid. Anthony and I can read each other's thought bubbles, so I didn't "conceal" it. Why should I say it out loud and risk that nosy Frenchy hearing it and telling her snooping mother about it?
At 8:27 PM,
April Patterson said…
yeah, mike, it does look like anthony knows what he's doing in his approach 2 liz. wdn't work on a normal girl, but liz is not normal!
apes
At 8:28 PM,
Anonymous said…
Shut UP, April. YOU'RE not normal!!!
Liz
At 8:28 PM,
April Patterson said…
whatever.
apes
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