Lonely @ the top an' stuff
Well, Luis never did tell a "refugee" story on Sunday, but I had U wondering there 4 a while, eh? MayB he'll tell 1 sum other time.
NEway, after school yesterday, Eva an' I went 2 the mall again cuz I really needed 2 get outta that house, an' I was really surprised 2 C Becks, cuz I thot she was up in Mtigwaki staying w/Susan while Howard was in custody in Spruce Narrows. It turns out that they came back yesterday, as Howard ended up posting l8 last nite:
I don't know Y I'm so sensitive 2 Becky's "looks" but 4 sum reason, I am.
Howard, pls keep us posted when U can, an' good luck.
Apes
NEway, after school yesterday, Eva an' I went 2 the mall again cuz I really needed 2 get outta that house, an' I was really surprised 2 C Becks, cuz I thot she was up in Mtigwaki staying w/Susan while Howard was in custody in Spruce Narrows. It turns out that they came back yesterday, as Howard ended up posting l8 last nite:
April,But I didn't know NE of that then. I was really surprised 2 C Becks @ the mall, and I was gonna ask her what was up and if Howard was okay and all, but then she shot me a look that made me 4get what I was gonna say, and after she'd passed, I was all, "Did U C that Eva? Becky just walked by... An' gave us 'the look.' U know: the 'I'm-better-than-U'll-ever-B-no-matter-how-hard-U-try' kinda look." Eva was all, "And she's all by herself." And I was all, "So?" And Eva was, like, "It's lonely @ the top!" And I think I looked all gobsmacked 4 sum reason.
We got back from Mtigwaki this afternoon and Becky said she wanted to go shopping. When she came back to see me, she said she had spotted you in the Milborough Mall with Eva Abuya, but she knows how Eva feels about her, so didn’t stop to say anything, because she wanted to avoid a fight with Eva. I have jail time tonight in Toronto, but they allowed me to write a little something to you, so you would know what’s going on.
My lawyer, Mr. Benis, said although my escape from the Milborough prison was necessary in order to prevent from being short drop hung, if I plead guilty on the escape charges, will probably spend about 10 - 30 days in custody. The likelihood I would be released on bail, pending the hearing of my appeal is remote, because of the prison break, which makes me a flight risk.
I’ll let you know as learn more.
Howard Bunt
I don't know Y I'm so sensitive 2 Becky's "looks" but 4 sum reason, I am.
Howard, pls keep us posted when U can, an' good luck.
Apes
posted by April Patterson @ 6:42 AM
13 Comments:
At 9:13 AM,
Anonymous said…
april, the fact rebeccah can walk in the mall by herself & not get mobbed 4 autographs is not showin' she's lonely @the top. actually, it's showin' the after effex of the gym jam on her popularity in mboro. all the adults remembah she hadda drug user in her band, & they have warned their kids 2 stay away. i think normal teens in othah places wud tell their 'rents 2 stfu, but this is mboro ---the land of teens who luv hose-a-phonez. & thoze peeps who wud tell their 'rents 2 stfu, r still a little mad rebecca didn't put on a show, but kinda completely collapsed & ran 2 the washroom. it wuz an awful day 4 me 2, but i didn't lose nearly az much az rebecca did. on the othah hand, it did take me awhile b4 i cud go thru a mall w/o peeps booin' or hissin' @me. i think last week wuz my 1st week 2 walk thru w/o being spat on.
At 2:30 PM,
howard said…
April,
I must admit I was a little disappointed to read your reaction to seeing Becky in the mall. I know you two have had “issues” for awhile now, but you really should learn to keep them to yourself. It’s a bad family trait. When I was being led out of the courtroom, I could hear every word your mother, sister, and Anthony Caine said while they were “whispering” about my showing the “remorse” to the court. And likewise, Becky heard every word you and Eva said about her while she was walking away from you in the mall. She wouldn’t admit it to me at first, but I showed her your blog entry and she said it did happen and she admitted it hurt her feelings. I know you’re a teenaged girl and these things are common, but I can’t help but wonder about you and Eva Abuya. She’s seems to bring out your worst behaviour.
As for me, I was not granted bail, thanks to the prison break, and I plead guilty to the prison break charges at the suggestion of my lawyer, Mr. Benis. It got me a light sentence of 30 days and they put me in Mimico Correctional Centre in Toronto, where I will stay until my appeal is officially heard by the appellate court. Mr. Benis says that based on yesterday’s questionnaire, he feels confident I will get an acquittal, and I won’t have long to wait, since appeals for person in custody are usually expedited.
Now this is the really weird part. After my hearing, I was taken into a room and who was there but Mr. Gluttson from Portrait Magazine. He said, “Howard, I was a little concerned about you in the Milborough Prison, since I saw the scaffolding there. I was glad to hear about your escape.” I said, “Mr. Gluttson, I expected you probably filled the senior editor position at your magazine by now.”
Mr. Gluttson said, “Well my old friend (Invisible) Morrie Saltzman took the position and then disappeared leaving a note which said he and his wife Lovey had purchased a condominium in Barrie, near her sister's home, and he would be back as soon as he possibly could escape, but I shouldn’t wait up, because Lovey and his sister were arguing over whether or not to sever the land surrounding the condominium or put in tracks of geraniums and he was pretty sure he was going to be up to ears in geranium tracks. Can you imagine filling a whole yard full of geranium tracks? Anyway, Morrie left without giving me 2 weeks notice, just like the prior senior editor did. If you were to leave a job, would you give 2 weeks notice, Howard?” I said, “It’s standard business practise. I would never think of doing otherwise.”
Mr. Gluttson said, “Good. We’ve made the arrangements for a prisoner work release to Portrait Magazine every day. You arrive at 5 am and leave at 10 pm, with meals provided, and sleep over in Mimico. The job is yours, if you want it. Aside from Morrie, you were the best candidate.” I said, “What if my appeal ends in an acquittal?” Mr. Gluttson, “Well, Howard. I will not lie to you. Being in prison makes you ideal for the position. However, I would not be so bold as to say being free means you would be a poor employee. We’ll see how well you do, and then if you’re acquitted, we might want to keep you on. Until then, you’re going to be in Mimico, so we will know where to find you, and we don’t have to worry about some idiot who doesn’t know the proper procedures of the Justice System accidentally hanging you, like we did in Milborough.”
Oddly enough, April, I am writing you from a computer in the senior editor’s office of Portrait Magazine. My first assignment is to come up with names of people to lay off. This could be tough, but there is a guy named Jeff who keeps popping his head in the office and asking about your brother and if I know anything about his book. Jeff is moving very rapidly to the top of my list.
Howard Bunt
At 3:47 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, zapata henderson says i am rilly gonna like goin’ 2 peterborough on weekends next year. i asked her if she wuz a fan of the peterborough petes hockey team. she sed 2 me, “no. i wuz accepted @trent & u can come visit me.” i sed, “i don’t have a car & i don’t have a licence.” zapata sed, “thass no way 2 congratul8 sum1.” i sed, “oh, sorry. congratulationz on gettin’ n2 trent.” zapata sed, “gift?” i sed, “wut?” zapata sed, “wen sum1 mportant 2u iz accepted n2 university it is customary 2 give them a gift.” i fished thru my pockets & sed, “i got sum comp tix 2 heaven and hell @the air canada centre for thu, mar 22. will that do?” zapata sed, “it will. thanx.” then she turned ‘round & started yellin’ “eldritch. this is wut a proper university acceptance gift looks like.” then she started runnin’ ovah 2 her bf eldritch & wavin’ the tix in his face. there is no way i am gonna watch the peterborough petes w/zapata. altho the peterborough memorial centre wuz renov8ed in 2003 & it makes the mboro arena look rilly bad. w/its hardback wooden seats. mebbe if they r playin’ mboro, i cud c that game. that mite b worth a trip 2 peterborough.
At 3:55 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Little sis. My conversations with your friend Eva Abuya yesterday left me some doubts as to whether or not she was truly worthy of being your best friend, but they were all allayed with today’s blog entry. When faced with the prospect of that slattern, Becky McGuire, openly and publicly declaring herself as you so quaintly put it, “I'm-better-than-you’ll-ever-be-no-matter-how-hard-you-try'”; then a true friend would stand up for you and point out all the flaws in your attacker. I think you have got a good friend in Eva and it is my sincere desire that your friendship will grow to be just as strong and close and intimate as the friendship between me and Josef Weeder.
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 4:55 PM,
April Patterson said…
gd pt abt mboro teenagerz, jeremy.
howard, i feel bad abt my reaction 2 becky @ the mall. u know how sumtymez u can have this just, like, emotional reaction 2 sumthing an' then not even really know y? it was one of thoze.
congrats on the new job, and gd luck w/the appeal.
jeremy, i think i heard zapata telling eldritch he'd better watch his step, cuz she has a "backup."
apes
At 5:01 PM,
Anonymous said…
Hello, Michael, I'm following up on some stuff from yesterday. April showed me the rec room, and I have to say I disagree that calling it a "storage closet" is more accurate. There's a lot of stuff stored in there, but Apes has done a great job stacking all that stuff from floor to ceiling in one section of the room. The rest she's got set up like a pretty cube bachelorette pad. So more "accurate" would be for you to refer to it as "April's apartment."
I noticed you never addressed the other thing. Your references to "your room"; "formerly April's." April seems to think this is because you secretly harbour the hope that your parents will give or sell the family house to you and move themselves and April to the smaller (Stibbs) house. But even if that happened, you would end up taking over the master bedroom for yourselves, wouldn't it? And meanwhile you ARE borrowing April's room. Why can't you just say that?
Eva
At 6:47 PM,
Anonymous said…
Eva Abuya,
It is so nice of you to write back. I can tell you will be an excellent influence on April with your good example. Unfortunately, I must disagree with you about your assessment of the storage closet where April sleeps for the following reasons:
1) If you have ever looked in a storage closet in our house, and by storage closets, I even mean the ones even April would call a storage closet, you will note that my mother has them so tidy and neat; somebody could comfortably take residence in one. When I look at what April has done with where she sleeps, I reflect on my own mother’s cleaning abilities and the words which come into my mind are “storage closet.” Actually, “messy storage closet”, but I usually leave out “messy” since I realize April is a teenager and has to display her teenaged rebellion somewhere. If mom were to write “Mike is a Foob” on the sides of cardboard boxes, she would do it in very neat block letters, and with a more tasteful colour than red.
2) If I were to refer to where April sleeps as “April’s apartment”, it would grate on the nerves of other people in the house, who have expressed an interest in being in an apartment instead of the house on Sharon Park Drive. If you read my family’s monthly letters from March, you will note that even my sainted mother expressed an interest in having her own apartment. If you were to ask April, I am sure she would agree she would not refer to the former rec room as "April’s apartment" in front of certain members of her family.
As for my family and the Stibbs house, when Mr. Stibbs finally has his house ready to be viewed, it is no secret that I hope Deanna will hate it. I believe I have proclaimed that publicly. In the event I were to end up owning mom’s house, I cannot say I would take residence in the master bedroom. Our children are small, and their bedrooms would be upstairs. Our daughter negotiates the stairs pretty well, but our son is a novice stair climber. And to be frank, my wife does not have the best record when it comes to monitoring children on stairs.
I expect we would keep our bedroom upstairs until my son is older. My guess is that my wife would transform the downstairs bedroom into a "sewing room" for her crocheting and jewelry-making skills, separate from the children and easily locked off. But these are pure speculations on my part. If you were talk to my wife or my father, you would firmly believe that we are going to buy the Stibbs’ house and sometime shortly after that my wife and father will battle to the death over whether the land around the Stibbs’ house will be severed or turned into a giant outdoor train display. By the way, if you ever meet my wife, please do not tell her sewing is not crocheting. That is a sure way to get her upset.
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 7:06 PM,
Anonymous said…
masked booby
At 7:07 PM,
Anonymous said…
red-footed booby
At 7:07 PM,
Anonymous said…
blue-footed booby
At 7:09 PM,
Anonymous said…
The nanny minder software on your computer has been removed, MCDunC.
Your friend,
Charles Wallace Larson
At 8:10 PM,
Anonymous said…
Dang, Michael Patterson, you sure are stubborn. I guess you don't care if April never reads another post of yours ever again. It'd be pretty easy for you to just stop doing the things that bother her so she'd start reading 'em again. You're pretty cold-hearted, I have to agree with April there.
Eva
At 11:18 PM,
duncan anderson said…
Y?
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